Giving birth at 63?

[carternm31]

Originally Posted by yola

I don't agree with it, but I certainly don't think it's disgusting. And for the record, not all persons of pension age are decrepit. My Mother is 80 and often has more energy than I have and is perfectly able to look after my toddler for quite long periods!!

My husband will be 55 when our new baby is born. Does that make him disgusting too? I hope not

I think nature needs to be a factor here. If the woman is still able to bear a child without assisted conception then she has every right to do so. However when, as in the case of this women, IVF or similar is used then it does cast a doubt over whether it's morally the correct decision. However, as the press does tend to distort and sensationalise things, and correct me if I'm wrong the story was led by that bastion of impartial reporting, the Sun, then we need to be fully certain of the facts before making hastly judgements.

I'm not saying i think your situation is disgusting, she is not ABLE to convieve naturally and i do not agree with the amount of drugs they give these people to be able to wait as long as they want. My parents are 65 and 63 and i found it hard as a child having older parents, and i know they didn't have the strength as say a 20-30 year old would, to run around after me when i was a young. Having a child at the ages you are is your decision, i am just voicing my opinion as i know what its like to have older parents.

[Julie84]

Originally Posted by carternm31

i found it hard as a child having older parents

I found it very hard as a child (mostly as a teenager) having such a young mum (she had me when she was 17). Children seem to be eternally embarrassed by their parents, regardless of age!

I don't think it's really anybody's business whether they have children or not - who am I to decide whether it is right or wrong? I can see many benefits to being an older mum (and I think most 63 year olds would be better parents than the heaps of 13, 14, 15 year olds parents ).

[yola]

My parents were both in their 40s when they had my brother and myself. I was embarassed by their non-English accents but age didn't really come into it. OK - so my Dad didn't run around the garden with my brother and play football with him. But I don't think my brother suffered. Infact - I actually found my parents were willing to devote a lot of time to me (an him) to ensure that my potential was fulfilled and were more willing to make sacrifices for us that I suspect they may not have done had they been in their (for example) 20s, and a bit more into 'having a good time' etc.

carternm31 - I'm sure you're not saying my situation is disgusting - after all you weren't aware of it when you made the statement. I'm just questioning the strength of the particular word in this instance as it rather took me aback; and using my own case as an example.

I did have a further thought though concerning the 63 year old woman. Her child will be 17 when she's 80 (everyone in the press seems to be using the age of 80 as a benchmark so, so be it). It could well be that this child may well have a child of their own by then, either way it will be well on the way to being independent. Additionally, if this person is able to spend £50K on IVF treatments it's very likely that the child will have a financial support structure which will mean it won't suffer in any way and will be well provided for.

Either way - I'm certain it's a decision this couple did not enter into lightly and considered all factors prior to proceeding.

[Hreow]

Hmmm... think the child would prefer to have parents, rather than "financial support structure", but I suppose that does mean that it will be easier for someone who cares about the child to also take over the upbringing etc.

[Snoof]

I lost my mother when I was 15. In August, it'll be 9 years since she died, making me 24.

I still don't know how I'm going to live the rest of my life without her (and my brother, who died just short of a year later). Sometimes my son (who is 4) will do something, and I'll think, "Oh, I'll just have to ring them and tell them about it!" before realising that I can't, and will never be able to.

It's heartbreaking. If I had a much-higher-than-average chance of dying when my child was still young, I would choose not to have them.

But maybe she's extraordinarily healthy. Maybe she has a huge support system set up and doesn't realise that no number of caretakers will ever make up for it when she dies. I've been lucky in that Matt's family have adopted me without a second thought, but it doesn't make it better. It makes everything else better - they're wonderful people who love me and who have done quite a lot to make life easier on me, and have adopted Random even before they adopted me. But I still want my Mum, and my brother.

So no, I wouldn't do it. I can't personally imagine a scenario in which it would be a brilliant idea. But I can't control other people, or even know the ins and outs of their situations, so I try not to waste any time wondering if they're making a huge mistake or not, because it'll only do my head in