Bad day, really upset.

[random]

I've just had the day from hell today I think. I had an argument last night with my b/f, anyway I went to bed and didn't think that much of it, it wasn't THAT big a deal (so I thought) but said dissagrement has panned out the rest of today.

Then the ill bird that I found on the road (trying to do right by before it got ran over), gets caught (whilst in a cage) but one of the cats while i'm out getting it seed. So now it's looking very bleak for the poor thing, and as if I don't feel crappy enough, loving guy that he is has just kicked off at me saying i'm the most irresponsible pet owner ever and now the poor bird is dying a slow and painful death because of me, and then started going on about the cats having kittens when they are only kittens themselves (they are both over a year old), and generally making me feel 100% useless.

I love my animals and I do the very best I can for them, is that not all any of us can do? I may not be perfect but he's talking like I shouldn't be allowed near animals, it's just made me really really sad, i'm in tears writing this and I don't have anyone else to talk to at the moment so i'm sorry you guys are getting the brunt of it all. I don't normally rant like this but it's just been a really hard day. :(

[Amber]

Oh hun I'm so sorry you've had a bad day today :(

It is not your fault about the bird getting caught, you wern't there so how could it be?! You can't watch them every second of every day and unfortunately these things happen.

Sending you lots and lots of ((( hugs ))) really hope you feel better soon xxxx

[Erin]

awwww kel,you did your best for that bird,alot of people would have just left it in the road,that certainly doesnt make you an irresponsible pet owner.
Everybody knows how much your animals mean to you.
((((((HUGS))))))

[Emm]

((((((((hugs)))))))))

you need to go and have a nice hot bath and go to sleep and everything will be better in the morning. You were just trying your best for the bird - many people would have just walked away but you cared enough to take it in. That shows great qualities.

Sometimes we say things in the heat of the moment and hurt those we love - but we don't always mean it.

Hope you feel a bit better in the morning

((((((hugs)))))))

[Mags]

Aww don't upset yourself Random, we all know how much you love your animals.

Try to get a good night's sleep and things will probably be better tomorrow ......
((((hugs)))) xx

[Kazz]

These silly arguments have a way of dragging on - try to have a good nights sleep then look at it again in the light of day.
Karen

[random]

Thanx guys, i'd do anything for my pets, he knows this, I think it just hurt me that someone I love so much can be so bitter and hurtful when I just needed a bit of support from him.

Sorry for ranting anyway, I think i'd better have an early night.

[Erin]

Sleep well kel (((hugs)))

[Kazz]

When you are arguing with those you love you go for the under belly the thing that you know will hurt them the most...with you the animals.....Have a good nights sleep.

[random]

Thanx everyone, I really appreciate it. x

[Fran]

Oh Random {{{big hugs}}} I do hope things are brighter and happier for you today x

[alexgirl73]

random I hope things are better for you this morning! Try not to dwell on it if you can, and not one person on here thinks you are irresponsible, and most people would have walked away from that pigeon and not tried to help at all ((hugs))

[random]

The pigeon died in the early hours of this morning. I feel awful. :(

[Amber]

Oh hun I am so sorry :( just remember you did everything you could! You took the pidgeon home when most would have left it on the side of the road to die in the cold at the wheels of a car! You gave it that chance and that makes you a wonderful person!
(((HUGS)))

[tilly]

Sorry you are having a hard time ((HUGS)) from me too. Hope it gets better very soon. We all no you love your animal and do the best you can for them.

Sally

[Sweet]

....I am only just catching this.....

((((((hugs)))))) from me, please do not beat yourself up, you did your best x

[random]

Thanx guys for your support. I've already been told I should have left it where it was. I can't help thinking they are right. :(

[cc22peatree]

Oh hunny, I hope you are feeling alittle better today, chin up

[random]

I do feel a lot better today after coming online, I haven't spoke to my bf yet today so maybe thats why. :? I know in my heart I was doing the right thing for the bird, it was just a tragic accident, but I probably should have been more precautious having cats and a bird in the same house. :(

[cc22peatree]

It really isnt Your fault hun, Ive always had birds in the same house as cats, never had a problem, it was just one of those things, I hope you and your BF sort things out

[random]

Thanx Clair. It's not like I threw the bird into a pit of cats and left it there which is how he was making it sound. I'm sure we'll be fine it's just one of those petty arguments people have from time to time, it just came at a bad time which made it all feel worse.

[cc22peatree]

Thanx Clair. I'm sure we'll be fine it's just one of those petty arguments people have from time to time, it just came at a bad time which made it all feel worse.

Me and my OH used to 'bicker' all the time, I think it slowly stops the longer you have been together
Glad your feeling abit better:D

[Erin]

you will both be fine kel,we all have those petty arguments :)

[Erin]

Me and my OH used to 'bicker' all the time, I think it slowly stops the longer you have been together
Glad your feeling abit better:D

im still waiting for them to stop :lol: when do they stop.....ive been with my oh nearly 6 years are they going to stop soon :lol:

[cc22peatree]

im still waiting for them to stop :lol: when do they stop.....ive been with my oh nearly 6 years are they going to stop soon :lol:

Dear me:shock: :lol:
Me and my OH dont bicker much at all these days, just dont see the point, Im very hot headed so have learnt to just walk away from the situation before it gets heated, I honestly cant remember the last time we argued or bickered, Ive been with Paul almost 6years, Maybe its because we have had the kids;)

[random]

im still waiting for them to stop :lol: when do they stop.....ive been with my oh nearly 6 years are they going to stop soon :lol:

6 years, hahaha i've got a while to go then if your still waiting! :lol:

[Erin]

lol,we bicker about stupid things all the time,things like whos turn it is to decide where we are going if we are going out,or whos turn it is to decide what we are having for tea :lol: we end up just laughing about it though about 10 mins later

[Kazz]

These silly arguments get out of all proportion at times.
Either say "I am sorry" or "I love you" and see what the outcome is ;)

Karen

[Mags]

I'm glad you feel a little brighter today Random, remember you did nothing wrong and that's the important thing;)

Kazz's advice is good, those three little words...."I am sorry" or "I love you" are maybe the hardest to say when you have a row but they are the quickest way to repair a relationship;)

Take care :D

[Jac]

Wise words from Mags..

I'm so sorry the wee bird didn't make it but you cared enough not to leave it on the road.(((((((())))))) Hugs. Hope you feel better.

[EmmaG]

im still waiting for them to stop :lol: when do they stop.....ive been with my oh nearly 6 years are they going to stop soon :lol:

I found around the 14 year mark they stopped :-D

Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time of it Random :(

[Erin]

14 years :shock:

[Jac]

14Years:lol: Oh well just another 6 to go:roll:

[random]

14 years? :shock:

Oh someone help me now, thats over a decade to go. :shock:

[dinahsmum]

Oh dear.
I don't know if I'm much good at relationship couselling. We'll have been wed 35 years if we make it through till July! Can't really remember 'rows' - but differences of opinions, certainly.

Here's a bit of a tip, for you both to contemplate and accept or reject, as you chose.

Whatever the situation
Will it still matter in 10 years? No? Not so bad then
Will it stil matter in 1 year? No? Not so bad then
Will it still matter in 6 months? No? Not so bad then
Will it still matter next month? No? Not so bad then
Will it still matter next week? No? Not so terribly bad then
Will it still matter tomorrow? No? It's really not such a big deal is it?
Most things don't still matter tomorrow.

Also. No-one has the right to reject your feelings. You are entitled to your feelings. You made a mistake (which of us doesn't? x 100 per day etc?). You regret what happeed as a consequence. That's your feeling, to which you are entitled. He can't take your regret and reject it - he must accept it.

But i think 'sorry' or 'whatever - I love you, I feel vulnerable and unhappy, do you love me, will you help/hold me' are as good a response as you will find. Why is he angry? Are things going on in his life/work/family/job to upset his normal mood?

Oh dear - other people's emotions; I should back off.
Good luck for a speedy resolution

[random]

Thank you so much DM. That's great advice, you really are good at this! Things are much better today, not perfect, but a lot better. I know this time next week it will be a distant memory. We have tiffs like this all the time, I think moreso as it's a long distance thing, and you are right, he does have a lot on his plate at the moment that's not directly related to our relationship, I guess you just seem to take it out on those you love.

Worst thing is when we argue he is ALWAYS right, no matter what, and i'm wrong. He will never ever admit when he's in the wrong and will twist it so it's my fault. That's the worst thing and the thing which frustrates me the most every time we argue.

[dandysmom]

That was very wise advice from DM! Glad you're not as down today, Random, (((hugs)))

[Mags]

Glad things are brighter today Random! :D