Cat Behaviorist

[Kobster]

I have a cat that is a bully. He enjoys picking on my female cat. He also has no bite inhibition and doesn't know when enough is enough when he is playing.

I think that all of these things are fixable problems and that a solution can be found so that all three of these cats can live in peace.

I have been to several forums, websites, mailing lists, etc with this problems and have gotten fatalistic answers like "he will never change his behavior" and "you need to find him a new home" and even "you should put him down"

I am fortunate to also own a dogs, and have owned both cats and dogs my entire life. There is a laundry list of excellent reading and resources for dog behavior issues. Surely someone is researching and writing about cat behavior? Who is the authority? Are there any books that will teach me how to think like a cat, and solve this problem in a language my cat can understand? Any suggestions are appreciated (unless they include euthanisia or squirt bottles)

Thanks in advance.

[Elaine]

Hello and welcome to Catsey first of all. I am so sorry you have had so many negative responses. There is a wealth of cat behaviour books on the market that may help you understand what is really going on here. Vicky Halls is a UK behaviourist and has written several books, such as Cat Detective. Also there is an american woman called Pam Johnson, she too has written many cat behaviour books such as Twisted Whiskers. Claire Bessant is another.
There are all sorts of different kinds of cat aggression, play aggression and re-directed aggression to name a few. I think the trick is to find out what kind of aggression you are dealing with and then think back to when and how it all started, that way you may get a clearer understanding of whats going on and why. The next step is then to find and work at getting a solution which may take some time but if you are lucky it may not take too long at all. I am hoping for the latter for you and your cats.
Unfortunately there are sometimes cases where it may be better to give one of the cats up for rehoming but like you I would want to atleast try to find a solution before considering this option.
You may also want to try using things like Feliway and rescue remedy to try to calm things a little while you try to find the solution.
Have your cats had vet visits? Its always better to rule out any medical issues that may be involved such as pain aggression, which I think is self explanitory.
Sorry if thats not much help but I wish you well and please let us know how you get on.

[Elaine]

http://amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b/026-3736008-1970822?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Cat+behaviour&Go.x=8&Go.y=8

Here's a link to amazon books shop to help you get started with feline behaviour books.

[Elaine]

http://www.catfaeries.com/feliway.html

[Elaine]

http://www.wellbeings.com/html/bachf...cueremedy.html

[yola]

Welcome Kobster. Sorry to hear you're having trouble with your cat but very happy to hear that you've not taken up some of that rather suspect advice

Looks like Elaine has covered all the options very thoroughly for you above so all I will add is welcome, and I hope some of her advice manages to offer the solution you are seeking

[Kobster]

Thanks guys! I have tried feliway, but not rescue remedy so I will give that a go and do some book shopping. Thank you so much!

[Kobster]

I've ordered three books from Amazon. Cat vs Cat, Twisted Whiskers and Psycho Kitty. Hopefull I can glean some insight.

[dandysmom]

Let us know how things are working out; good luck!

[Elaine]

I'd just like to add that if the situation is really tense, it may be an idea to try using feliway and rescue remedy together. These things are not a cure though but may hopefully help to relax the cat a little while you find the solution.
Wishing you all the very best. xxx