was giving a cooking lesson in Tibet, as he was famous for doing.
On this occasion he was, obviously, teaching the Tibettans how to cook Shepherds pie. Pototoes, carrots, gravy, onion and mushrooms were all easily procured. However, there was a problem. Mutton....
A young Tibettan monk set out to find mutton. Kwiksave and Farmfoods were fresh out, so he bought some alpacca meat, and returned to the blue-eyed crooner. Frank took one look, shook his head, and said "No".
Mortified, the young monk set out once again. For two days he struggled in the snowstorms that so often afflicted the area, until he reached Aldi. But they too had no mutton. However, they did have goat meat. Reasoning that this must be close enough, he struggled back with his precious cargo.
Frank, however, a tear in his blue eyes, shook his head. "No"
At his wits end, the monk set off again. For a whole week he battled the elements, until by chance he happened upon a little monastery, hidden in a snow-covered valley. And in the middle of the monastery was the mecca of food shopping. Sainsburys!
In the frozen section he was delighted to find minced lamb, and set off back, elated, and the good mood sustained him through the perilous journey back to the cookery school.
He explained his great good fortune to Frank, who took the parcel and opened it, and sniffed the succulent meat concealed within.
To the young monk's surprise, again Frank shook his head.
"I'm sorry, but this is meat from a castrated male lamb. It is useless for our purpose"
"But your holiness, why is this? What is it I must seek?"
Frank picked up a microphone, and as the strains of violins filled the temple, began singing.
"It had to be ewe. It had to be ewe....."
