How do you tell someone...

Az · 05-08-2009, 04:58 PM

they have done something wrong/irresponsible, without being rude or making it sound like you're having a go at them?

To be honest, people who excuse unpleasantness by calling it 'honest' 'I speak as I find' is not acceptable, and is actually quite cheap. The only time we should be having a go at someone is when reason has failed. Yes, I agree, people should learn more about welfare _before_ getting an animal - but if we're fair, how many of us learnt the hard way too? I know I did - I've learnt more about animal welfare _after_ getting my pets, and I think the same would be true for 99% of all pet owners too.

So in this thread feel free to 'practise' how you could word a reply to someone who has irresponsibly got their cat pregnant by failing to get it neutered or failing to keep it indoors when calling. Remember to keep in mind, that most people do not know of the plight of animals in welfare until they've become a cat (or dog) lover themselves.... which usually happens after falling in love with their cat/dog....

dinahsmum · 05-08-2009, 05:16 PM

"Well, I don't know if the thought has occurred to you,but I think you have done one of the most serious and potentially catastrophic things possible, other than having a child yourself.
You, and you alone, are now responsible, not only for your cat, who you love to bits, but now, if you go ahead with this preganancy, you, and you alone, are responsible for whatever happen to those kittens, and any kittens they have and any kittens they have.... so on and so on.
Can you put your hand on your heart and say that you will know the fate of all those kittens (1,2,4,6?) for the reminder of their lives? That you know that they will be neutered before they have the chance to add to the huge number of unwanted animals being cared for in shelters? That you know that their new owners will care for them all their lives; that their circumstances won't change, that the kitten/cat will not be passed to another, or thrown out when it scratches the baby, or abandoned when they move home, or ill-treated by the children, or ... well, there are dozens of horrible things which can happen to cats; I won't elaborate.
Are you prepared to keep the kittens until they are old enough to neuter (some vets will do it early, maybe 3-4 months)? imo, that's the only way you could 'make it up' to your cat and to cats in general.
I'm sure you didn't expect a lecture; I expect you are quite excited at the prospect of little fluff-balls.
I think you should go to your vet and see if ithere is time to spay your cat now, preventing the potential litter being born. She won't hate you - she's not busy kniting and dreaming of her family to come. If so - I'd go for it. Put it down to experience and be comforted that you have done the best you can. If it's too late, then you have a lot of decisions to make about what you will do with the little ones.
I've never had a litter, so can't advise on that. There will be previous threads here though, which you can search. Your vet probably has leaflets too.
I'm sorry this sounds a bit harsh - Catsey is actually a very supportive forum, and if you stay you will be welcomed and helped as best we can"

Something like that Az?

Kazz · 05-08-2009, 06:42 PM

I like that DM.......

Hello Azz nice to see you

but can you please Azz tell me what has caused you to post this thread? has someone done something wrong?

borderdawn · 05-08-2009, 07:14 PM

Ill tell you, I did! Honesty is the best policy. Whats the point of telling somebody anything that should of been told to them before they arrived here? They only come here because of what they allowed and purposely in most cases, so its totally pointless IMO.

There is absolutely NO excuse for this type of thing, neutering is free, these folk are already on the net, they have the world at their fingertips, they just couldnt give a toss!

Dont tell them what they "want" to hear, tell them what they dont, the truth!!

Sorry Azz, but if you saw the crap left behind and the suffering that goes on because of this you would understand my anger.

borderdawn · 05-08-2009, 07:29 PM

Well, another thought, I expect you understand my anger, and I do think my mouth flies at times, but I am so sick of it. We have had an increase in the number of FIV Cats wanting boarding places, I have no problem with this, but the problem is they are ALL moggies and ALL "rescues" THIS is why posts like this enrage me, Ive yet to hear of a responsibly bred pedigree Cat with FIV, although I am sure there are some, all our calls are rescue Cats from rescue sources, why? Because those that bred them couldnt give a monkeys who the father is and more importantly, couldnt give a monkeys about their own Cat enough to ensure its safety.

random · 05-08-2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borderdawn

Ill tell you, I did! Honesty is the best policy. Whats the point of telling somebody anything that should of been told to them before they arrived here? They only come here because of what they allowed and purposely in most cases, so its totally pointless IMO.

There is absolutely NO excuse for this type of thing, neutering is free, these folk are already on the net, they have the world at their fingertips, they just couldnt give a toss!

Dont tell them what they "want" to hear, tell them what they dont, the truth!!

Sorry Azz, but if you saw the crap left behind and the suffering that goes on because of this you would understand my anger.

I'd do it how I did it on that thread. But I don't think everyone should be the same or say the same. I think it would be equally destructive to said member if everyone were nicey nice or if everyone were like Dawn and Elaine about it. A case of good cop bad cop sometimes works wonders, but then Dawn's kick up the ar$e does make you sure never to be so bloody well stupid again!

If not for the people who 'had a go' at me when it happened here, I might not have been so careful with the kittens, in paying out of my own pocket to have all mine neutered when they were old enough. If everyone was nicey nicey about it I mean, I might not have even thought so much about them going on to produce kittens of their own.

But then I was a reg memeber already and expected it, if not I would have probably just walked away and never came back tbh.

Kazz · 05-08-2009, 07:38 PM

Okay obviously I have missed a post/thread something anyone care to enlighten me.....

borderdawn · 05-08-2009, 07:40 PM

The thing is Kel, even those that get all the support they need, and all of them do on here, regardless of what I say, never come back after they have what they want. Which brings me back to the original point. None of them "want" to be part of this site, they just want info to help them out of the hole they have dug for themselves.

Id NEVER ever stop people giving advice, but certainly cannot watch as the original posters "use" sites because of their own ignorance and bad ownership.

Im sorry if I sound harsh, but I cant help it.

borderdawn · 05-08-2009, 07:41 PM

http://www.catsey.com/showthread.php?t=33564

Kazz · 05-08-2009, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borderdawn

http://www.catsey.com/showthread.php?t=33564

Ta Dawn.....................

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