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pk-bailey, I'd just like to comment on what you said about how you can only pick her up once she's just woken up. The majority of cats don't like being picked up. They can either not respond, squirm, hiss, wriggle out of your arms, and it can make them tetchy and a bit timid, and aftewards they may go and hide. I would suggest avoid picking her up at all, especially after she's just woken up, as this is when she's most vunerable. I'm guessing even when she's completely relaxed and affectionate, she just won't like being picked up, and by doing this you're making her wary of being touched. Just sit in the same room as her, reading a book or something, and she may come over and sniff. If she does, don't immediately go to pet her, just let her sniff you, and talk to her in a high-pitched, soothing voice. We've had Minsky for 4 1/2 months now, and he is quite affectionate, but still if he comes up to sniff at me first, rather than me going over to him, if I go to pat him on the head he'll duck down and run away. I've read that in cat-dynamics, the 'dominant' cat is the one that walks over and initates contact. Unlike dogs, the way to show a cat your interested is to maybe avoid eye contact, act shy and demure yourself, and slowly build trust. Cats are funny creatures, and can have 'off' days, although I appreciate that Bailey hasn't been 'on' really since you got her. I'd give her more time and give her space. It sounds strange, but less physical contact may make her more trusting. I find talking to them whenever they're around in a high-ish voice helps  Good luck! |
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no she hasn't been neutered, going to vets tonight, going to talk to him. |
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Hope the vet can offer some advice - it's sad, because she looks so lovely and I totally understand that you want to cuddle her. Another thing is that generally female cats are more "offish" than males. That is a generalisation, but one I've found to be true. That's not to say that a female once she trusts you won't give affection in her own way and on her terms. That's a cat for you! |
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I would not worry overly my Oscar hated being picked up and we managed to chug along for 23 years he eventually decided it was okay to be fussed as long as it was on his terms he was not an affectionate cat per say...however he was very loving. |
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Eva the Diva has always hated being picked up, you should here the language she uses if you try, if you succeed the language is even worse   |
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