New rescue having trouble adjusting...

[sibeluver03]

Hello everyone,

I'm not new around here, but I don't post very much. My cats are Socks and Lola, both spayed DSH tabby cats! Socks has been with us since she was a kitten and is now 4 years old. Hubby and I have a 3 year old son (Jayden) who is very active and can be very loud around the house. Socks has watched him grow from an infant to the silly toddler he is now, so she is not afraid of him at all. She gets annoyed with him when he tries to play with her, but she is so good with him. She's just simply used to who he is.

We rescued Lola, who we think is about 3 years old, from our local humane society 5 days ago. She has been extremely shy and fearful. This is of course to be expected with her being so new around the house. She and Socks did not like each other at first and are still a little angry with each other. But they have for the most part made leaps and bounds of progress. Last night, my sweet Socks sniffed Lola's tail at which Lola growled, but neither moved away. Socks rolled onto her back to expose her tummy to Lola. I don't really know cat body language well but I took this to be a sign of peace and friendship. Socks is no longer the growling cat, Lola is the one who is still growling.

This is not what I'm worried about though. I really think the two cats will be sisters in a week or two!

I am worried about Lola's fear of Jayden, my son. She hides all day long and only comes out when he goes to bed at night. Once the house is quiet, she will come out to cuddle while we watch TV or use the computer. She is a complete love bug and is such a darling. I have let Jayden feed her yummy cat treats, but Lola is still as fearful as ever. She lays her ears back and her eyes are wide and her body lays low to the ground. At night when she is laying on my lap and Jayden gets up from bed to go potty, she startles and jumps away from me and hides until he goes back into his bedroom to sleep.

I've already posted about this in the behavior section and got very good replies. I just wanted to post here to see if I could get any more suggestions and advice and to also introduce Lola! I am so proud of her and I love her dearly. We have never rescued a cat from the shelter before, we just picked Socks up from a family member's home where a feral cat had kittens. I will always and forever rescue any pets I get in the future, both doggy and kitty.

Thanks everyone!

[angieh]

Hi sibeluver03! I remember your previous thread re Lola. I am sure that she and Socks will soon be friends but from what you describe of Lola's body language towards your son, I would caution care. You are obviously aware of the problem and the last thing you'd want is for Lola to attack your boy through fear. I wonder if that was the reason she was in rescue in the first place? As she is obviously happy around adults and comes to be cuddled and smoothed, it's little kids she's scared of.

Can you find out anything about her history from the rescue? TBH I am surprised that they rehomed a cat to you if she had a history and you told them that you had a small child at home.

[sibeluver03]

They knew nothing of her history. She had come from a previous shelter and was moved to our local one because they were out of room. I specifically asked for her history because I wanted to make sure she was going to be okay living indoors. We had our son with us to pick a cat out. Lola didn't pay any attention to him at the shelter.

I'm just so afraid that she is going to not adjust and we will have to return her to the humane society. It breaks my heart to even think it, but I don't want her to be unhappy for the rest of her life. She may never adjust well to kids. I went there with the thought that adopting an adult would be the best thing to do since most all kittens are snapped up right away. I was trying to do a good deed. But it seems as though a kitten would have been the best choice so it could grow up with our kids. I am pregnant with our second baby due in April, so our cats need to be kid friendly. Lola can avoid Jayden all she wants, but to only be able to come out at night for cuddles couldn't possibly be fun for her. I think she needs a family who are senior or have no children and have a quiet home. =(

[angieh]

I do feel sorry for you and your family - and of course accept that you had the best intentions. I can see that you are having second thoughts with Lola's best interests in mind. It's heartbreaking though.

[sibeluver03]

It is heartbreaking. I am just in love with Lola. I have emailed the humane society manager, who has already been very helpful. This shelter is very caring and is at the tip top of shelters in my opinion. If an animal must be in a shelter, this is the one they should be in. Anyways, I emailed the manager to get her opinion on our situation. I only want what is best for Lola and if the manager says that we should keep trying, we will. But if she thinks it is in Lola's best interest to be homed with a quieter family, this is what we will do. Lola needs to be happy. Right now, she just isn't. Thank you for your kind words, I really do appreciate them.

[calismum]

It could be she has been in a situation where she has been teased or frightened by small children. I wish I could come up with a brilliant solution but not my area of expertise.

It may be over time she gets a bit more confident. I do hope so.

[Elaine]

Thought there were some useful suggestions on the following link that you might be able to put to use.
http://cats.about.com/od/amyshojai/a...s-and-Cats.htm