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New Member
 
Cats owned: Domesticated Shorthair
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1
02-12-2015, 02:54 PM   #1

Need to leave but worried I will lose my cat, what can I do?


Hi there,I'm choosing to stay in an abusive situation because I don't want to lose my cat. I rescued her as a kitten and she is nearly 9. I am unemployed and on medication for chronic anxiety, I was first made unemployed due to physical illness. I receive ESA but no other income, I've been told by others that I would be put into a house share or shelter in a town/city. I am having to re study part time as what I trained to do my illness/injuries I can no longer do that work. Obviously the ideal choice would be to get a job and move somewhere suitable.

Ive lived in the countryside my whole life and my cat was semi feral and has spent most of her life outdoors hanging out on farms. I have tried keeping her indoors before and she headbutts windows, constantly Meow's to go outside, claws furniture the rest of the time she sleeps or acts stressed, she won't play indoors for longer than a couple of minutes and that's quite rare.
She has taken 6 years or so to even try spending time with other people, before that she would ignore everyone other than me and run from them. She has been bullied by other cats quite often and has had cysts caused by them in the past( indoor and outdoor cats) I live with 4 other cats right now and she won't be around any of them. Without my own emotional attachment I'm concerned that if I found somewhere for her to stay that she would become sick from stress and escape the first chance she got.


Im not directly asking anyone on here for help but wondering if anybody knows of anything I could do or an option I've not thought about, maybe you've been in a similar scenario?

I know its not logical or right but I would rather remain in the situation than lose her as she's like my child. Rehoming her would destroy me and maybe I'm biased but I do not think she would be happy either.
But I'm also trying to be realistic and don't think I can cope in this situation for another possible 4-9 years.



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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,633
04-12-2015, 11:00 AM   #2

Re: Need to leave but worried I will lose my cat, what can I do?


I wanted to respond to say my heart goes out to you, it sounds like you and your cat have a beautiful mutual bond and that would be so sad for both of you to have to break that. It's lovely that you're concerned about your cats welfare x

That said, I don't have any advice to offer because it is not a situation that I have ever found myself in. But I really would like to wish you the very best of luck in finding some kind of balance between quality of life that works for both you and your cat.



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Phoenix's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 cats - one black and one tabby
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Somewhere or maybe nowhere
Posts: 4,295
19-12-2015, 01:48 AM   #3

Re: Need to leave but worried I will lose my cat, what can I do?


Do you have any family or anyone you can take her just while you get sorted out with somewhere else to live?

***hugs***



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Catsey Junior
 
Cats owned: Domestic shorthair
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 28
08-02-2016, 10:25 PM   #4

Re: Need to leave but worried I will lose my cat, what can I do?


You could try contacting local shelters to see if they could find her a foster home until you're able to have her with you, or ask your local social work office if they know of any fosterers. Pretty much everyone in my team has fostered somebody's animal for at least a couple of days and once we had someone's budgies in the office!
Good luck - I hope you can get out of your situation soon.



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truthisouthere's Avatar
Catsey Senior
 
Cats owned: Birman.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 759
14-02-2016, 12:13 PM   #5

Re: Need to leave but worried I will lose my cat, what can I do?


Some thoughtful answers here already.

Sorry for the belated reply but only just read this. So sorry you feel so torn. and it's great you are thinking of your cat's quality of life, but you must think of your own needs too. 1st off, animals do pick up our stress, so while your dear girl is very sensitive (my boy is quite similar when it comes to being shut in) and you have that very special bond, if you are in an abusive situation your cat will pick that up even if her anxiety is based on many other things.

Your cat currently has access to outdoors, I take it? and you are worried if you move you may no longer be able to offer her this, or the change from what she is used to may be too much? It may not be as bad as you think, as Kirsten has said, if the worst came to the worst and you had to temporarily foster her-foster carers do genuinely love and know how to be around all types of cat-, at least she would be safe while you look around for a new and better life for you both. If you could just find a person you trust, in a quiet home, who could help just while you figure things out, that may be worth considering. Try and think positive. In the meantime just research your options. It may help to make list of what you do and don't want, and what you are and aren't prepared to do, (hide it!). A 'plan of action' will help you to narrow down things and really focus on action you may be able to take towards a step in the right direction that will benefit you both.



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