Proud mum bragging alert!

[dandysmom]

Very well done to Myles and to you also; you're justifiably proud of him. I do agree with what DM posted above about little boys. And some children are very shy around strangers.

[random]

Originally Posted by dinahsmum

He sounds a lovely boy.
I don't know a lot about the autistic spectrum but I do think that little boys aren't as good at mixing as little girls are, so maybe he is more of a late developer with social skills as a balance to his academic skills.

Thank you dm, there's certainly a lot more to it than I have posted here but that's for another day although I do hope you are right and that it's nothing that will be with him for life.

Originally Posted by Moli

Well done to Myles, you have every right to be proud Random...Give him a hug from me....

Thank you very much Moli! x

Originally Posted by dandysmom

Very well done to Myles and to you also; you're justifiably proud of him. I do agree with what DM posted above about little boys. And some children are very shy around strangers.

Thanks Eileen I am very proud!

Ok here we go, I will give you a small insight into what I base my concerns on as it's a little more than being shy, he's certainly not shy. He will throw himself on the floor and start rolling around, climbing on me and pulling at my clothes and grunting if a stranger or someone he doesn't know well asks him a question, a simple question, what's your name, how old are you e.t.c. In Church for e.g., we have been there since Nov, he is like this with the people there he has known all this time although he is fine to run around being loud and boisterous in front of them, talk on the microphone saying 'hello' at the end of the Church service when everyone is having a cuppa, but still won't talk directly to anyone but the Sunday school teacher. His second tooth fell out and yesterday he woke up to £1 under his pillow so asked if we could go to the shop on the way to school, I said fine but I had the pup so I couldn't go in and he said ok. When we got there he went in and there was a different lady to usual which threw him and he wouldn't tell the lady what he wanted (we go in on an afternoon usually and this was first thing on the morning). He responded to this by crawling on his hands and knees out of the shop and pulling on my clothes, wouldn't tell me what was wrong I had to guess, when I asked he just kept making a noise 'UH'.

There is another shop we go to which he is confident at going in himself as it's a supermarket type layout and he doesn't need to say anything to anyone (rather than sweets behind the counter and he has to ask) and every time he will always come out with the exact same thing for 25p.

He also has certain routines he will get upset if broken, one is that he HAS to go to his grandad's every day before school for a cuppa, otherwise you can't even get him into the school, he will sit the yard and refuse to budge and gets very very upset, crying, screaming, the works.

When you understand all of his quirks e.t.c he's lovely, well behaved if rather full of energy! He is polite, kind and helpful and very loving to me especially, his grandad and nanny often get hugs and kisses when he deems fit, then his uncle is next in line but his auntie, who he has seen almost every day of his life, he very seldom shows any affection towards, his nanna who he has known all his life and seen at least once a week, more so when he was a toddler as she used to live with us, he won't show her any affection either and absolutely anyone else has no chance. His cousins (male and female) his age all give all the adults a hug when they visit and then go home, even the ones they see less than monthly, Myles won't even give his auntie he sees every day one (and he is actually really quite close to her, he does all sorts with her playing games e.t.c, he just won't show affection to her).

His motor skills are not very good, he is clumsy, he can't skip with a rope, his teacher said she has never not been able to teach a child to skip before they left her class but he's leaving and he can't skip! He finds throwing accurately and catching difficult, he can't ride a bike and even with stabilisers he can do it but slower than walking pace, he can't use a scooter very well, he can't bat a ball, he's not interested in playing out with friends or having friends over. When he goes to places (parties, after school clubs e.t.c) the way he is with his friends is often a bit odd. A couple weeks ago he was play wrestling with a boy a couple years older than him that he had never met before, he didn't speak to him, they were messing about in a paddling pool and got carried away and he just went over and started pushing him (in a playful way not aggressive) with him and luckily the boy obliged and joined in but Myles wouldn't talk to him and didn't understand when enough was enough and got quite upset when they boy didn't want to do it any more. He doesn't seem to be able to gauge things from their point of view while his peers can. One other e.g of this is that he doesn't understand when a joke has stopped being funny. A joke I might find funny and he doesn't understand he will laugh at because I laughed, then he will repeat it time and time again, over and over and laugh each time (falsely) even though he doesn't understand why it was funny, I mean 20-30 times or more when all the other children have long since lost interest. He does this wee game with a piece of seeded grass (where he says a wee rhyme and pulls off the seeds and throws them over me) every morning on the way to school about 20 times, and when I don't laugh he doesn't understand why I don't find it funny any more.

I could honestly go on all day, I have always put it down as his little 'quirks' and just managed it best I know how hoping he'd grow out of it but the older he gets, the more concerned I am becoming, there's no master class in parenting and quirky kids, I know some kids do some of the things he does and are otherwise fine but the last thing I want to do is bury my head in the sand and later realise when he's really struggling. I will welcome with open arms the specialist telling me i'm overreacting and he will grow out of it as he gains in confidence but rather the embarrassment of that than him reaching teenage years and really having a very hard time of it.

And if you have read all that you deserve a prize! Sorry for the rant!

[dandysmom]

Rant all you want here; it's good to get it off your chest and we're here to listen, rejoice in the happy things and offer sympathy and what advice we can for the sad things. I'm pretty clueless about children, but from what you describe it does sound like possibly a mild form of autism; can't see that a session with a specialist would hurt. I'm sure people who have kids can offer some more insight than I can ...((hugs)))

[Moli]

Like DM it sounds like a mild form of Autism to me too, he has trouble interacting with people??

[dandysmom]

And possibly a touch of OCD also ....the repeating of things and the adherence to a routine .......

[Kim]

You have every right to be proud - well done Myles. I have had a few 'proud mum moments' on here myself! Glad I'm not alone

[random]

Originally Posted by dandysmom

Rant all you want here; it's good to get it off your chest and we're here to listen, rejoice in the happy things and offer sympathy and what advice we can for the sad things. I'm pretty clueless about children, but from what you describe it does sound like possibly a mild form of autism; can't see that a session with a specialist would hurt. I'm sure people who have kids can offer some more insight than I can ...((hugs)))

Thanks Eileen. It's one of those things I try not to start on because once I get started it's hard to get me to stop!

Originally Posted by Moli

Like DM it sounds like a mild form of Autism to me too, he has trouble interacting with people??

Thanks Moli, that's why we are leaning towards aspergers as it's primarily his social skills, or lack of.

For anyone interested:

http://www.nas.org.uk/asperger

Originally Posted by dandysmom

And possibly a touch of OCD also ....the repeating of things and the adherence to a routine .......

OCD is actually really common on my dads side of the family to a degree that more people have it to some degree than not. It's often a part of 'something else'.

Originally Posted by Kim

You have every right to be proud - well done Myles. I have had a few 'proud mum moments' on here myself! Glad I'm not alone

Thank you Kim, i'm glad you understand where i'm coming from too, best feeling ever!

[alexgirl73]

Kelly, you could almost be describing my Hayley!! I have had her seen by specialists, and their 'diagnoses' was extreme behaviour. She ticks a lot of boxes for certain things, but not enough of one to be given a definite! Hayley has just this last 2 months, learned to ride a bike, she still can't tie her shoelaces, and is one of the clumsiest children I know bless her , sh is forever covered in bruises and she has no idea how she got them. Does Myles' school have a nurture group? Hayley accessesed this in year 2 and it helped her a huge amount with her social skills (which were non existent at that point), and she has had continuing social help in the years since. She is by no means perfect lol (what child is), but has come a long way in the last few years, helped in part by a fantastic teacher this year. If you want to chat or anything, give me a shout xx

[random]

Originally Posted by alexgirl73

Kelly, you could almost be describing my Hayley!! I have had her seen by specialists, and their 'diagnoses' was extreme behaviour. She ticks a lot of boxes for certain things, but not enough of one to be given a definite! Hayley has just this last 2 months, learned to ride a bike, she still can't tie her shoelaces, and is one of the clumsiest children I know bless her , sh is forever covered in bruises and she has no idea how she got them. Does Myles' school have a nurture group? Hayley accessesed this in year 2 and it helped her a huge amount with her social skills (which were non existent at that point), and she has had continuing social help in the years since. She is by no means perfect lol (what child is), but has come a long way in the last few years, helped in part by a fantastic teacher this year. If you want to chat or anything, give me a shout xx

Oh Alex i'm so relieved to hear that, that's my worst nightmare to go through all the dr's e.t.c and be given a middle of the road result, i.e. yes he clearly has a 'problem' but not bad enough to warrant any support! How old is Hayley? No Myles cannot for the life of him tie his laces and gets very very stressed about that as most of his pals can do it now so after PE he will often just tuck them into his shoes rather than admit he can't and it's that sort of thing that upsets me because he does try his hardest.

I don't think they do they just have a session for the special needs' kids and he really could do without that, he's above average academically so really doesn't need taking out of his class but as it's almost end of term I won't find out much more 'til Sept now. I'm yet to meet his teacher for next year but I will be discussing it with her before they break up hopefully.

[alexgirl73]

Hayley was 9 in April of this year. She still has emotional outbursts, and I don't know if you get the constant high pitched whining from Myles, but that is her speciality lol. She knows she is slightly different from other kids, and it upsets her when she sees them laughing at her because she finds it so hard to control herself. She bursts into tears at the slightest thing, and has extreme difficulty in turn taking and sharing etc. Although, she has come a LONG way from the way she was. A great part of that is routine with her, and not saying that something will happen, and then it doesn't. She has to be prepared for all eventualities. Does Myles have fixations? Hayleys is currently Dr Who , she can tell you every episode, what happened in it, who was in it and millions of mind numbing facts!! Before that is was Barney the Dinosaur (for 6 years!!).

Nurture groups are fantastic, and I would perhaps discuss this with the head if you can. This link may help you

http://www.nurturegroups.org/pages/about.html