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Phoenix's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 cats black/white and one tabby
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Somewhere or maybe nowhere
Posts: 4,296
10-08-2009, 04:49 PM   #1

Post this on your fridge door


This is something I found in the latest cats protection newsletter:

The following should be posted very low on the refrigerator door:

Dear Dogs and Cats

The dishes with the paw prints on are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I can fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up into a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximise space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door that I entered. Also I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: kiss me first then go smell the other dog or cat’s bum. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their fur on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.



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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
10-08-2009, 08:03 PM   #2

Re: Post this on your fridge door


Oldie but goodie, still gives me a laugh!



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Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: DSH Cats
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,882
10-08-2009, 08:48 PM   #3

Re: Post this on your fridge door


That is great RCR! Never seen that before - so clever
I love the part for the non pet owners - that made me laugh so hard
I am going to print that off - thanks for sharing that - too cute!



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Phoenix's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 cats black/white and one tabby
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Somewhere or maybe nowhere
Posts: 4,296
10-08-2009, 10:08 PM   #4

Re: Post this on your fridge door


Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyKatz
That is great RCR! Never seen that before - so clever
I love the part for the non pet owners - that made me laugh so hard
I am going to print that off - thanks for sharing that - too cute!
Your welcome HK



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