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Feline laws- or wisdom passed from cat to catDandysmom you have inspired me but I thought I'd better start a new thread rather than hijack the previous one Quote:
always wait until the scariest bit of a horror film before jumping on their heads/ suddenly yowling A newly made bed is not fit for human habitation until you have thoroughly checked it out Never accept the first food offered and always wait until they have bought the jumbo sized box of 'that food they really seem to like' before refusing to eat it ever again A scratching post is for ignoring but curtains are for clawing Add your own here..... I'm sure there are loads!
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It seems to be an innate feline trait; or maybe mum cat passes all this sort of information to the kits when they are little: like boxes and bags are meant to be sat in, always give your mice to your humans, try to sit on the paper/book your two-legs is trying to read, etc ........
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Great idea! Well, there's the classic: When in doubt, wash ..... Always throw up your hairball on a soft surface like a carpet or bed, never on a tile or wooden floor which is easier to clean ... The litter box must be instantly used the minute it has been changed ...... When you sense visitors aren't cat people, stare intently at them while edging slowly closer and closer... |
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Please lie in doorways so your human always knows you are there. Wait until your human is about to sit down and jump into the seat to ensure it is comfy enough for them to sit in. As soon as it is first light meow loudly - you don't want your human to miss the sunrise. If non cat guests are due to visit, please chuck up any hairballs or part digested grass just prior to their arrival. Make sure you do it in a place it will be seen so they can appreciate you will not be doing anything like that during the meal. Do not be rude by ignoring guests to your humans home. Always stay around until they eat. Then is probably the best time to use your tray - you won't be missing anything then. |
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Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter. If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat |
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When non cat people visit, always act like a cat possessed, find a toy and go wild, and even better, wind up the dogs if you can sense they are just NOT animal people, make it look like you live in a mad house.  Maybe just mine?  |
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The best way to use the litter tray is to kick out as much as possible before 'going', especially effective when visitors are due! (Honestly just beginning to think my lot don't like visitors and are trying to deter them!) |
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Quote:
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Any cat restrained for the purposes of administering a pill has the potential to reach escape velocity. Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping. The cat must select a position which causes maximum discomfort to people involved. A cat can hear a can of tuna being opened (or the word 'vet') a mile away, but can't hear a simple command three feet away. |
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If your human leaves the bed at night for the loo, instantly move into the nice warm spot they have thoughtfully made for you ..... When they have managed to give you a pill, pretend to swallow, spit it out and remain uncatchable the rest of the day ...... |
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If it is raining out of the back door miaow loudly at every alternative exit to demand the dry one If your female human puts black clothes on send Tolly to rub his white bits against her legs, for light clothes either Smudge or Cleo will do. You must ALWAYS ensure that she leaves properly dressed which means that there must be cat hair visible. Freshly raked soil is for rolling in- the little seed thingies are annoying though. Sleep enough during the day so you will have enough energy to amuse your humans by jumping up and down on their heads at 3AM (I'm glad it's not just mine.....) |
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