How to get your people under your paw ...

Phoenix · 18-01-2009, 08:25 PM

Dylan here!

So you kitties want to learn how to get your people well and truly under your paw? There's a few golden rules:

Rule One: If your people want you to do anything, don't do it! You are not a dog!

Rule Two: The Vet is your enemy. Avoid him/her at all costs and DO NOT let your people put you in the basket!

Rule Three: Eat when you feel like it. Your people must like it or lump it.

Rule Four: Only play with catnip toys when your people are not watching. They will use this against you to make you do undignified things. Remember this!

Rule Five: Only sit on laps if YOU want to! Not if your people want you to sit on their lap, only if YOU want to.

and Rule Six: Avoid telling your humans if you are frightened, again they will only use this to their advantage to get you to behave like a D word! (e.g. if you are outside and you come across something you are very frightened of)

How true to life is that list of rules?

Made them up with Dylan's assisstance.

Tina · 18-01-2009, 08:33 PM

All very true indeed, RCR!

I shall have to be sure to hide this thread from wee Mousie though, as she may get ideas about Rule 2 and I already have enough difficulty getting her to the vet without her following Dylan's advice as well!

Phoenix · 18-01-2009, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tina

All very true indeed, RCR!

I shall have to be sure to hide this thread from wee Mousie though, as she may get ideas about Rule 2 and I already have enough difficulty getting her to the vet without her following Dylan's advice as well!

True!

I think Beauty must have somehow managed to teach Dylan what I've posted (apart from the eating one, Dylan made that one up himself!)

HappyKatz · 21-01-2009, 08:26 PM

Our kitties have their paws up to your thread RCR & Dylan!

"So true" they all meow!
Cats are such lovely creatures - even with their cattitude & all!

dandysmom · 21-01-2009, 11:34 PM

Leia firmly believes in all those rules, RCR! Especially #2!!

Phoenix · 22-01-2009, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dandysmom

Leia firmly believes in all those rules, RCR! Especially #2!!

I think most cats do, dandysmom!

angieh · 22-01-2009, 02:45 PM

Merlin, who has years of practice, agrees completely with Rule 5!

dandysmom · 22-01-2009, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angieh

Merlin, who has years of practice, agrees completely with Rule 5!

Leia would like to add a codicil to Rule 5 ... if the lap wiggles at all adjusting itself, leap off instantly with an aggrieved look!

Phoenix · 22-01-2009, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dandysmom

Leia would like to add a codicil to Rule 5 ... if the lap wiggles at all adjusting itself, leap off instantly with an aggrieved look!

That's not Dylan's style, but he says it can be added

He'll do his best to stay on laps through hell and high water

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