Older Cat & Kitten not getting on

[Elaine]

3. Face to face meeting


Acceptance, even if not friendship, should be possible
The final step should be for the new cat to meet the resident cat(s). This introduction should ideally happen during mealtime. All cats should be fed at the same time but their feeding areas should be in opposite ends of the room. Some growling and hissing should be expected at this point - this is quite normal as they figure out the new pecking order. If either cat seems upset or if a conflict looks likely, they should be separated immediately. Try another introduction when they are both calm. After the cats have finished eating they should be separated straight away.

It's better to introduce the pets to each other gradually so that neither animal becomes afraid or aggressive, although mild forms of these behaviours are to be expected. If either animal becomes fearful or aggressive, separate them, and start over with the introduction process in more gradual steps as before.

During the coming mealtimes the amount of time that they spend in the same room and in each other's company should be gradually increased. Eventually they should be allowed to spend more and more time in the same room (always under supervision) until they are both happy and relaxed with each one's presence. Certainly, they should not be left alone together in the same room unattended (e.g. at night) until the cats have accepted each other.

[Elaine]

Preventing Conflicts

What happens if my cats don't get on?


Careful introductions can prevent conflicts
Try to prevent conflicts: In some cases establishing a hierarchy among cats can be problematic. If any aggression develops between the cats, and their environment does not allow them to give way or hide from each other in tense situations, it can become quite uncomfortable for everyone in the household. The aggressive behaviour can become a learned one which the cat will use again and again if she is not stopped from exhibiting it. It is important that you try and stay one step ahead of the cats, and prevent any fighting from even starting by reading their body language. Try to distract them with a loud noise, even a hissing sound similar to a cat's, or by throwing a toy in the opposite direction. If necessary, separate the cats until they have calmed down.

If a fight breaks out: There can only be one 'top cat' in the household, and cats will work out for themselves who that is. If there is a fight, distract them or calmly intervene, then pick up the aggressor and hug and kiss him/her, rather than the one who just got beaten up (even though you feel sorry for them). Brush the 'top cat' first, feed him first, say hello to him first. This will allow the 'top cat' to reinforce his/her status, making any further conflict less likely.

[Elaine]

Give your cats a break from each other


Having some all important 'me time'
One way of preventing aggressive behaviour is to make sure that all cats have their own private space to sleep, hide or rest, and that they do not have reasons to fight such as sharing food, litter trays or toys. It is also important that they are distracted so they do not resort to fighting with each other. Having enough stimulation such as sufficient play time, both with toys that they can play with on their own and with you, as well as hidden toys and treats will keep them busy and not give them much opportunity to show aggressive behaviour with each other. Reward your cats when they interact in a positive way.

Cats need sufficient hiding places such as wardrobes, cardboard boxes, spaces behind or between furniture, or commercial tunnels which they can use for hiding and playing. It is also important that they have access to areas above the ground, such as cats' trees, shelves or window sills (so they can watch the goings-on outside occasionally or snooze while soaking up some sun) as they feel safer and in control when they are in high places.

Remedial products

Feliway spray or diffusers help cats feel more calm and relaxed, so can be very helplful when bringing a new cat into your home. You can get Feliway products from your vets.

Bach Flower Remedies can also be used, especially the Rescue Remedy (for stress, trauma and fearful situations). A combination of Walnut (for the easy introduction of a new cat) and Vine (to help with aggressive behaviour) can be added to food or water (use two drops of each remedy in food or water regularly). Bach Flower Remedies and Animals

[Sugarant]

Thanks for that Elaine, that's actually been really helpful because it's made me realise something. Merlin's behaviour towards the kitten actually worsened a few months after she got here - or rather, for a few weeks I thought it was improving and then it got worse again - and I'm now wondering if it's because the neighbours have a new cat. Up until just before Christmas, he'd hang out in their garden a lot and they always loved him and made a fuss of him, but now this new cat is in our garden a lot and he often gets chased into the house by him. So maybe the fact that he's lost his 'me' space and his top cat status inside AND out, it's made him more resentful of the kitten.