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Glasgow jokes>What do you call a dwarf that falls into a cement mixer? >A wee hard man > >Why wasn't Jesus born in Glasgow ? >They couldn't find a virgin or three wise men. > >What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe ? >Wee Shooey. > >What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe and can't find >his dog ? >Wee Shooey Douglas. > >A guy walks into a GP's surgery. >"Doctor , Doctor! He cries , "you've got to help me, I feel like I'm >turning into coconut" >Says the doctor, "You're bountae " > >What did Dracula get when he came to Glasgow ? >A bat in the mouth. > >There were three coos in a field. Which wan wis oan its hoalidays ? >The wan wi a wee calf. > >What do you call an illegitimate insect ? >A fly bastart. > >Hear about the lonely prisoner ? >He was in his cell. > >What famous costume drama TV series of the 1970's was named after a >queue for the toilet ? >The Aw Needin Line. > >The man in the clothes shop insisting on a maroon jacket. >"Fur ma roon shooders" > >Hear about the stupit skindiver? >He didny have a scuba. > >Did you hear about the London criminal who fell foul of the Glasgow >Mafia? >Apparently they made him an offer he couldn't understand. > >What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a social worker ? >Ye can get yer wean back aff a Rottweiler > >What do you call a Glasgow Sikh who enjoys karaoke ? >Gupty Singh
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Brilliant!!!!! Loved the three coos!!!!!!!! |
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 Very good |
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Made me chuckle this morning  |
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