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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
17-05-2006, 07:03 PM   #1

Glasgow jokes


>What do you call a dwarf that falls into a cement mixer?
>A wee hard man
>
>Why wasn't Jesus born in Glasgow ?
>They couldn't find a virgin or three wise men.
>
>What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe ?
>Wee Shooey.
>
>What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe and can't find
>his dog ?
>Wee Shooey Douglas.
>
>A guy walks into a GP's surgery.
>"Doctor , Doctor! He cries , "you've got to help me, I feel like I'm
>turning into coconut"
>Says the doctor, "You're bountae "
>
>What did Dracula get when he came to Glasgow ?
>A bat in the mouth.
>
>There were three coos in a field. Which wan wis oan its hoalidays ?
>The wan wi a wee calf.
>
>What do you call an illegitimate insect ?
>A fly bastart.
>
>Hear about the lonely prisoner ?
>He was in his cell.
>
>What famous costume drama TV series of the 1970's was named after a
>queue for the toilet ?
>The Aw Needin Line.
>
>The man in the clothes shop insisting on a maroon jacket.
>"Fur ma roon shooders"
>
>Hear about the stupit skindiver?
>He didny have a scuba.
>
>Did you hear about the London criminal who fell foul of the Glasgow
>Mafia?
>Apparently they made him an offer he couldn't understand.
>
>What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a social worker ?
>Ye can get yer wean back aff a Rottweiler
>
>What do you call a Glasgow Sikh who enjoys karaoke ?
>Gupty Singh




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Het's Avatar
Het Het is offline
Catsey Senior
 
Cats owned: Siamese.Maine Coon. moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 546
17-05-2006, 07:46 PM   #2

Re: Glasgow jokes


Brilliant!!!!!

Loved the three coos!!!!!!!!



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dinahsmum's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggie boys; 1 grey 1 red striped
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: SW England
Posts: 12,761
18-05-2006, 08:47 AM   #3

Re: Glasgow jokes


Very good



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Jac Jac is offline
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Raggie and BSH
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 11,575
18-05-2006, 11:38 AM   #4

Re: Glasgow jokes


Made me chuckle this morning



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