Help with my mums cat getting along with pip!

[lynz85]

help please, she absolutely hates him! she is 13 and she will be here for the next 3-4 weeks and will be visiting for a week at a time throughout the summer. she never really liked mondo but did come around to him eventually-like 3 years! even then she would go up and sniff him in the face, then hiss in it and walk away!!
i thought as i was getting a young male cat, there was a chance she would have got on with him better, she first met pip when he was about 12 weeks old, nope, hissed at him straight away and would swipe at him if i didnt intervene! now she has been here for just about 2 weeks, and its not any better, she is very grumpy and just wants in my room(where hes not allowed because of ratties) or out, and she will just pluke up my carpet til i let her in
she is very much queen of the castle, and when mondo was here, she would chase him out the room or down the stairs in his own house
now i think pip would maybe stand up to her, theres been no chasing of him as she just growls and runs away. i dont know if its made worse by the fact that he's not neutered yet, she has been spayed.
any ideas for a peaceful house? it doesnt help ty the dog wanting in on any drama going on aswell!!

[calismum]

Only thing I could suggest is separate rooms. I know that won't be easy but you run the risk of one of them hurting the other. Made more difficult by the coming and going. I think it is asking a lot of both of them.

Never used a feliway before - others swear by it. Rescue remedy rubbed in ears - but I honestly think it is going to be a long slog to have a peaceful house.

Sorry this doesn't seem to be too helpful, just wanted to send you a bit of support.

Good luck.

[lynz85]

thanks cm, they are in seperate rooms 99% of time, she comes in and goes straight up to my room, i take her food up there aswell as she wont eat it downstairs. then the doors shut until she goes out, shes in a lot just now because of the weather, just out for a few hours when i get the rats out then shes in til the next day. oh shes a grumpy old witch getting!

[wilbar]

Introductions between strange cats should always be done by smell alone at first. Keep them in separate rooms, but go in to visit each cat after handling the other one, swap bedding, groom one cat then use the same brush to groom the other etc. Only when they're comfortable with each other's smell shoud you allow them to see each other & then only from a distance.

Each cat should have it's own "comfort zone", i.e. a room or place they can call their own, where everything they need is provided, i.e. food, water, something to scratch on, a selections of warm cosy beds & resting places, preferably at different heights, toys if the are inclined to play & a litter tray if needed. Plus frequent positive interactions with the people they know & like.

Routes between the comfort zone room & the outdoor access should be supervised so that the cats don't have any aggressive incidents by meeting in these places. But their smell will be around these places so the other cat will get used to the fact that another cat uses these patrol routes too.

Cats can learn to "time share" territory, so one cat may have the mornings to explore the house or go out in the garden, while the other could have the afternoon or evening.

Only when they are comfortable with each other's smell & are exploring the house relatively calmly, should supervised meeting be allowed, & then only at the pace & distance that each cat is happy with. It can take only one or two negative/aggressive encounters to ruin the chances of an amicable relationship developing.

All cats have different levels of sociability with other cats (see article on sociability in the working articles thread) so sometimes the best you can hope for is that the cats just avoid each other, or learn to be tolerant of each other. You can't expect them to ever be "friends" as such. But it helps them enormously if the cats realise that everything they need, all resources they require to live comfortably, i.e. warm resting places, a place to sleep & relax without being disturbed, food, water etc, are abundently supplied, so there is no competition for these vital resources.

[angieh]

I really think that will be you best and only option lynz. Good luck.

Can I ask, do you like your mum's cat?

[lynz85]

Originally Posted by angieh

I really think that will be you best and only option lynz. Good luck.

Can I ask, do you like your mum's cat?

yes, i would have taken her with me when i moved out but my mum wouldnt let me! we got her as a kitten when i was about 12, so i adore her! she rules the roost, i dont know if she see's pip as a threat as she cant boss him about? she is getting more grumpy the older she gets! she gets plenty of attention as she's in my room and hogs the bed!

thanks for the info wilbar, i did start intros off very gradually the first time she came up, and they are never left alone together, she is either in my room where he isnt allowed or outside, he doesnt get out. she has always slept in my room so she knows this is her space where she cant be bothered. he isnt bothered by her,obv intruged as shes anothother of his species and a female! he does follow her upstairs when i first let her in from outside, and she hisses in his face
she sleeps in my bed, shes never used a bed and doesnt enjoy getting brushed!! i dont expect them to be friends, but it would be nice if they could sit in the same room together! i think its worse as shes not going to be here all the time, she will go home at the end of january and then wont be back until late march/april.

[Elaine]

Lynz try not to stress too much, follow Wilbars advice to the letter, if you move to quickly to get them together and the hissing and spitting begins then you must go back to the stage that they were both comfortable at.
Took my dear Eva the Diva 6 months to "accept" Bernie into our home. It was hard work and there were times I could have given up but didnt. They were never bossom buddies but they rubbed along ok.
Sometimes acceptance is all you can hope for.
Good luck xxxx

Just re-read your last post. It's gonna be very very difficult for you to complete these introductions.
Do you visit your mums often? If so then maybe you could help things along by swapping cat blankets and maybe even taking a soft cloth that you have rubbed Pip with and then rub your mums cat with the same cloth when you get there.
Hope that helps a little xxx

[lynz85]

thanks for the reply elaine, i think when she goes back to mums i will get a blanket and switch it between cats every week or so. i was just hoping she would be less hostile to pip as when i first got mondo i was in a flat and she would chase him out the room, then when i moved she just chased him downstairs. as i said it was years before she stopped that but would still go to sniff him when she came in, promptly hiss in his face, turn and saunter away!
she took a while to get used to ty when mum introduced him as a pup aswell!
here is little miss grump at her finest

i cant help but laugh at that pic though!

[Elaine]

She's a naughty Tortie, what do you expect

[dandysmom]

Oh, a tortie! That may explain a bit; in my limited experience torties tend not to get along too well with other cats. Tolerate, but never bosom buddies.