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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
02-12-2005, 09:45 AM   #11

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Jac, DM I'm so sorry to read of your respective losses. Sometimes it just helps to talk/write/shout about it until the pain subsides.

The loss of a child is most awful and guilt-ridden and still quite taboo as people really are at a loss as to what to say.

I have experienced this indirectly only but I know 2 people who have lost a boy during childbirth, one was someone very close to me.

Jac - although not religious, I do believe that our departed loved ones are looking after each other and are also casting a watchful glance over us at times.

Love to you both



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dinahsmum's Avatar
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Cats owned: 2 moggie boys; 1 grey 1 red striped
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: SW England
Posts: 12,761
02-12-2005, 09:54 AM   #12

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Yola, You're right about the guilt thing. It's crazy isn't it?



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Fran's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 21,296
02-12-2005, 10:16 AM   #13

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Thinking of you today Jac x x {{{Hugs to you}}}



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Jac Jac is offline
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Cats owned: Raggie and BSH
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 11,575
02-12-2005, 11:06 AM   #14

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Thank you all so very much. The guilt thing is horrific. I kept thinking stuff if only I had woken him to feed him. (I dont believe in wakeing a baby to tell it it's time to feed) but if I had that day..... or if only I hadnt gone to my mums, he wouldnt have been in the pram. all sorts of things.

It's ok DH I know exactly what your talking about I lost twins as well. One was in my falopian (sp) tube and the other I misscaried. As for looking at "unworthy" mothers or pregnant people, well Ive been there too. How come you can carry that baby and I couldnt?
If I hadnt lost Steven I wouldn't have had Darryle, like you I couldnt be with out him or Ceilidh.
Thank you all for your kind words and yes it has helped to talk about it.

PK thanks for keeping me company last night or should I say this morning. We seem to be making a habit of it.



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Moli's Avatar
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Cats owned: Exotics,oriential,siamese,& Mogg...
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Scotland..
Posts: 27,164
02-12-2005, 11:41 AM   #15

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Thinking of you today Jac's...Big "HUG"..............



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Mags's Avatar
Global Moderator
 
Cats owned: NA
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: South-West,UK
Posts: 37,618
02-12-2005, 02:42 PM   #16

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Jac I am so sorry to hear about your losses, all in such a short space of time. You must be one courageous lady to get through all that. To lose a child must be the most heartbreaking experience you can go through as nothing can prepare you for it.
You pour your heart out if you feel like it Jac, it will help you get through the day. Thinking of you and sending you {{{{{{big hugs}}}}}} Jac. xx

RIP Steven xx



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yola's Avatar
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Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
02-12-2005, 04:28 PM   #17

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


I know what you mean about looking at other women etc. I was diagnosed infertile, took fertility drugs, got pregnant, had ectopic pregnancy and half of my 'kit' removed. I was convinced that a baby would never happen after that. It took several years to really get over the resulting depression, but I couldn't look at a happy family or a kiddie in a pushchair without welling up.

And then - when I'd reconciled myself to a childless future; I fell pregnant with Dominik. I can't tell you how worried I was during that pregnancy but all was OK.

Anyway - I would love another, but I have a very strong feeling that I should be grateful with what I've been given with my little miracle boy and not push my luck.

Hope you don't mind this mini outpouring . . . thanks and Jac, I'm thinking of you all day today ((((hugs))))



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Donna's Avatar
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Cats owned: Tortie Chloe & Black Misty
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 9,350
02-12-2005, 07:32 PM   #18

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


Thinking of you today x



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Kim's Avatar
Kim Kim is offline
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Cats owned: 1 mog
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Leicestershire
Posts: 3,848
03-12-2005, 09:18 PM   #19

Re: Steven 4/08/1988-2/12/88


{{{Hugs}}} to you Jac. I have lost both parents, my mum tragically and it hurts like hell. To lose a child must be the hardest thing to ever comes to terms with. You have gone through such a tough time, don't be hard on yourself, you still need to grieve for your losses. Thinking of you....



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