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Q: How many inner-city gang members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Four-one to rob the liquor store to get money for the bulb, one to drive the getaway car, one to screw it in, and one to hold his crack pipe while he does it. |
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Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place. |
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Q: How many heavy metal fans does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two to say "Excelleeeeeent !" |
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Q: How many dinosaurs does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It takes thousands of dinosaurs millions of years......cos they have to evolve deposable thumbs so that they can grip the bulb to screw it in. |
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Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I've just cashed up. |
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Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)" |
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Q: Why does it take three women with PMT to change a lightbulb ? A: Cos it does, RIGHT ? |
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Q: How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they're convinced that the power will come back on soon |
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Q: How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four - One to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination. (left a bit, right a bit, left a bit...) |
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Q: How many university students does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to fuse all the electrics while doing something silly, and one to phone the landlord to ask for the lightbulb to be changed. |
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