Dad is poorly and hospitalized

[Tink]

Prayers are needed for my Dad, please.
He was unable to breathe yesterday and taken to the ER and admitted to the ICU in very critical condition for congestive heart failure.
On top of this, he is in renal failure. It is very hard to treat him when his kidneys aren't filtering.
They say he may or may not pull through. My mom had to make a decision whether to save his heart or his kidneys and she chose his heart. The fluid is slowly getting tapered off his lungs and heart but the treatment for that has completely depleted what little kidney function he had left.
He is on life support in a medication induced coma.
They have had the priest read him his last rites just in case per the doctor's suggestion.
Best case scenario is they stabalise his congestive heart failure and he will have to be on dialysis completely as no kidney function will be left.
Worst case, I'm sure you can guess.. :cry:
He was transferred by ambulance this morning to a hospital more equipped to treat his kidneys. He has pneumonia and a possible infection and a fever. They are just trying to keep his blood pressure and heart rate stable while they figure out how to do dialysis on him.
The fistula set up in his arm several weeks ago for dialysis has not matured yet but going through his neck (as they do in emergencies) they fear will be fatal. I don't know how they are going to do this but he has to get these things filtered out of his body somehow.
The kidney disease we already knew about and he was preparing for dialysis so he could have a total hip replacement as he could barely walk even with the use of a walker as he was in so much pain.
The congestive heart failure is a total shock and now treating him has gotten much more complicated.
I am terrified I'm going to lose my Dad now. I just want everyone to be okay for awhile. I'm so tired of all this death.

[Mags]

Oh Tink, I'm so very, very sorry to hear your dear Dad is so ill.*hugs*

The doctors will do everything they possibly can for him and I hope and pray he will begin to show some signs of improvement.

Thinking of you and sending healing vibes to your Dad ....... *hugs* xx

[angieh]

Tink, I am so very sorry for your Dad and your family. Prayers for all of you at this sad and difficult time. ((((HUGS))))

[lynz85]

im so sorry to hear this tink. sending over well wishes and hope your father can remain strong throughout this x

[Velvet]

So sorry to hear this, how devastating for your family

Good health vibes to your dad xx

[Kazz]

Good Lord Tink................they say these things are sent to test us and Good Lord you are being tested......my heartfelt thoughts for you Dad, and the family.

[Tink]

Thanks, all.
My mom is being put through the ringer. He's 'improving' one hour and 'declining' the next and it repeats. This brings me back to K. I remember the rollercoaster well.

Kazz, I agree. I feel like it's such a bittersweet time for me. On the one hand, I feel so very happy to have found Trinidad and excited to start my life with him and start our own family (even went to the doctor to start preparing myself to try to get pregnant later this year).
On the other hand, so much sadness and grief and stress lately. Beginnings and endings happening at once. Maybe it's symbolic. I know life isn't perfect, I was just really hoping for a stretch of time where things were peaceful. I know God gives us only what we can handle but sometimes I wish he didn't have so much faith in me...

The updates I get from my mom are constantly changing. It's basically touch and go right now for my Dad.

[Kazz]

Tink I really do feel for you its as if you have had more than your fair share........really happy news about the baby.

[Tink]

thanks. there isn't one yet..just planning.

[Kazz]

thanks. there isn't one yet..just planning.

Yes I got that........but happy news is happy news even if it yet to be;)

[yola]

Sorry to hear you are once again having to face the loss of a loved one. I do hope your Dad has the strength to pull through the worst of this . . . and that he can continue to have some quality of life even with ongoing dialysis. Hugs xx

[alexgirl73]

Sending lots of positive thoughts winging across the atlantic Tink (and prayers Heavenwards of course). You have proved yourself to be a strong woman Tink, and some of that must have come from your dad :) xx

[Shelley123]

Tink i am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Your poor mum having to make a decision about which organ to save.
I do hope he manages to pull through and have some quality of life, healing vibes coming across the sea.
I'm so very glad you have Trinidad to support you.
I was only thinking about you the other day and wondered how you were doing. I wish it was better news.

[pamela81]

Tink, so sorryt o hear about your dad being soo ill, i do hope he pulls through, thinking of you and your family xx

[MrsH]

So sorry to hear that you and your family are having to cope with all this. Thoughts and prayers for your dad's improvement. (((hugs)))

[yola]

Any news Tink? I hope everything is working itself out ok with your Dad.

[Tink]

Hello...
Good news, he was moved from ICU to a regular room today and he is OFF life support and breathing on his own!! (albeit with difficulty but still...)
They have not started dialysis yet although he desperately needs it because he is just not stable yet and it is really risky to go through the jugular and they are hoping the fistula in his arm will mature.
He has a very high fever and they say the kidney disease is affecting his brain which is making him act very combative to treatment. He got so worked up when he saw my Mom today she had to leave for his own good as his blood pressure and heart rate started going nuts as he was begging her to take him out of there and saying he just wanted to die already. That's really out of character so I think that it is really affecting his mental state which is sad. They are doing swallowing tests to see if he's ready to drink. Poor guy has not drank since Friday and they wouldn't even give him IV fluids b/c with kidneys failing they would have nowhere to go except back up into his lungs and heart.
By no means out of the woods but I suppose a long road is better than no road. I may have to go out there soon as my mom is scheduled for a very necessary surgery next week.
It's so exhausting...one minute they say improving the next declining..I don't even know what to think but I have to believe that if they moved him out of ICU then there is a light at the end of the tunnel..

[Tink]

Yes I got that........but happy news is happy news even if it yet to be;)

thank you. we very much want a family and are excited to start. i am 32 and he's going to be 45 in june so it's time to get going if we want this:lol:

[angieh]

Out of ICU must be good Tink, best wishes for improvement from me for your Dad and more ((((HUGS)))) for you.

[Mags]

I hope your Dad continues to improve, Tink ..... my thoughts are with you *hugs*

[Kazz]

So pleased you Dad is out of ICU.........

[alexgirl73]

small steps, but positive ones :)

[yola]

small steps, but positive ones :)

Exactly what I was going to say.

[MrsH]

Good to hear that he's out of ICU, an encouraging move :D

[Shelley123]

glad to read your Dad is out of ICU, i do hope things improve for him quickly.

[Tink]

Update: Dad is pretty stable right now. Dialysis not started yet as numbers are not where they need to be. He's breathing well but the problem at the moment is his kidneys are not able to filter out the sedatives which in turn is making him feel very restless. Hopefully some morphine will help him get some rest. He'll need physical and occupational therapy to regain his faculties. He's aware but a little confused sometimes which is probably just from the drugs that can't filter out. He was able to eat and drink a little too.

[angieh]

That's very good news Tink - hopefully they can get him onto dialysis soon which is bound to help.

[Shelley123]

good news Tink. Hopefuly when they can get rid of all the toxins by dialysis he will feel much better

[Tink]

My Dad is at home now and doing okay albeit confused and depressed so don't think his brain is quite right. My Mom is having a very important surgery this Wednesday and she can't delay it so me and Trinidad will be there for a few days to look after him while my aunt helps my Mom recover. Quite anxious about leaving the furkids but have a well trusted friend looking after him and I gave him a very extenisve list of the things to do while I'm gone so I'm sure they're in good hands. We take the train Tuesday morning and return Friday night.

[angieh]

Hope all goes well for your Mom's surgery Tink and trust all will go well for you and Trinidad looking after your Dad. Sure the babes will be fine .... and will love you even more when you get home.

[Shelley123]

thanks for the update, Tink.
I'm pleased your dad is home and hope he gets sorted soon.
Hope your mums surgery goes well
take care x

[Shelley123]

Tink,
i hope your Mum's surgery went well and that your Dad is a little better x

[pamela81]

Tink, i hope everything went ok for your mum with her surgery xx Thats good to hear that your dad is getting better

[Tink]

Hi all,

Sorry didn't update. Been exhausted and recuperating from the stressful days I spent tending two ailing parents..who love to fight and bicker constantly as well :roll: :lol:
Mom made it through fine, just in pain. Dad is much more stable but is to be kept on close watch for any recurring fluid in the lungs/heart. His dialysis will be scheduled soon enough. I worry about him as he's a bit in denial and assures us he can drive..and sometimes he could but other times I was gripping the railings clenching my teeth. I worry he'll get in an accident but he's a very stubborn man and did not appreciate suggestions to not drive...sigh.
Was pretty much their chef, housemaid, chaueffer, and therapist/referee and even though I've been home since Friday night, I'm only now starting to feel myself again, lol.
Doesn't help they are struggling to keep their heads above water in bills. Their mortgage is simply too high and even with my Mom working they are not making the bills. She'd like to downsize but Dad is adamant about finding a way to keep that house. I wish he wasn't so stubborn. They don't need a house so large and I don't think my Mom is well enough to work enough hours to cover the mortgage. Ah, old stubborn man.. and then my mom calls and vents to me about it. Of course I feel torn in a tug of war. Don't want to take sides..puts me in a tough spot and they don't seem to understand the toll it takes on me as they take turns complaining about each other while all the while both their health is not so great. Sheesh.

[angieh]

What a stressful time for you Tink ........ I hope that you will be able to draw breath and cuddle your furbabes and centre yourself again.

It's never easy to go against your parents even though you know you are in the right.

[Shelley123]

Tink, good to hear from you.
As i did the daily i was just wondering how you were getting on.
I'm glad your Mum's surgery went ok and that your Dad is a little better, that's great news.
The driving is a tricky one. A man i know who is a very proud man in his nineties recently had to go into hospital, he was still driving although unsafe. I think the hospital staff intervened and he no longer drives.