Update

[Phoenix]

Just updating you on dating site news - the four I said about three I've ruled out, the fourth is no longer responding to my texts so don't know what's happening, whether he's found someone else or what.

I'm now in regular communication with a couple more, one I'll call MD for convenience, the other one I'll call KW again for convenience. MD I'm still talking to on the site, KW I've spoken to on the phone and through texts as well as through the site.

KW and I are planning on meeting somewhere for a first date, but we've not decided where or when yet, our plan is to meet next month at some point.

Any advice about first dates please?

[Kazz]

Yes....in this case can you get your brother or friends to go with you sit a distance away but keep an eye on proceedings...I am NOT saying anything will go wrong but in this day and age well any day and age where you a meeting a STRANGER to all intents and purposes you need to protect yourself.

DO not give out personal information, remember you are honest and genuine they may not be - TAKE CARE. Remember you only know this person through a mobile phone conversation/text so give a friend relative someone the text number of the person you are meeting. And any other information.
1. Tell someone where you are going and make/keep contact (either ring them or take them with you)
2. Go to a PUBLIC place a busy pub, restaurant/pub, do not leave to go elsewhere go one place stay there......do not get in your dates car or taxi with him. Def not a private hire one.
3. Get your own taxi home; book it yourself a firm known to you.
4. Stay safe.
5. Remember this is a ULTRA blind date but not with someone you know anything about apart from what they have told you. You are Genuine but not everyone is.
6. Pay your own way.......your do not want to be beholding to anyone, you have no idea how they would interpret them having paid for something.
7. Do not let them talk you into being walked home/to bus stop etc. Stay in the pub/whatever until your own taxi turns up.
8. Enjoy yourself but remember this person is a stranger!!!!!
9. Where ever is decided to meet visit the place first (even if you think you know it unless it is your suggestion - mind you even the visit first - check it out) with a friend to check it out you do not want to end up somewhere you are not happy/comfortable in.
10. I am not trying to frighten you but we all care about you here and want you to be happy but equally want you to remain safe.

[Kazz]

In general first date are nerve racking things all parties involved are nervous.
So just try to keep to basics of talk/chat, weather, work, holidays etc.
This is basic first date info
Do not leave your drink unattended, and stick to soft drinks, stay in a public place.

Try to remember not to be rude or inconsiderate on your first date. Always arrive on time, as a date who shows up late appears to be inconsiderate and thoughtless. This is not a good way to start a first date. Some important information you need to always keep in mind is that you don’t know your date yet so be careful of how much personal information you provide. The first date is not the time to let it all hang out, and under no circumstances should you discuss any past relationships, not matter how broken hearted or mistreated you have been. This first date is about the two of you exclusively. Also, you wouldn’t want to appear like you’re still emotionally involved with your ex, or that you may need some professional counseling.
The first date is not the time to discuss your future marital dreams, those discussions will be more appropriate on some future date with this person. :)



So do not talk on your mobile phone (other than contact calls, I mean the person you are meeting should accept you want to make sure you are safe, tell them up front you need to stay on contact)

Be honest. Lies are never a good thing even exageration.
Do not drink to much/or at all.
Talk to much about yourself or to little. (keep an eye out for their eyes glazing over;)) nerves are acceptable on both sides so be kind.
Ask your date questions show interest in their answers
etc.

[calismum]

I think that's great advice and ideas.

I would add, as before, get someone to phone you after an agreed time. Have a code sentence that sounds natural but means come and get me. (something like - Well I'll buy paper to wrap it in when I buy the card)

Like Kazz says, enjoy youself but be careful.

Have a list in your head of different things to talk about and if there are times where conversation lags then you have something to say.

Good luck.

[Kazz]

I think that's great advice and ideas.

I would add, as before, get someone to phone you after an agreed time. Have a code sentence that sounds natural but means come and get me. (something like - Well I'll buy paper to wrap it in when I buy the card)

Like Kazz says, enjoy youself but be careful.

Have a list in your head of different things to talk about and if there are times where conversation lags then you have something to say.

Good luck.


Good advice on the password, I sometimes forget everyone is not like me if I wanted to leave I would simply say "Thank you had a nice time and I have to go now" then follow it up with a phone call to say "Sorry it was a nice evening but I do not think we should take it further" :? maybe I am too blunt.

[calismum]

Think it's just an easy out if you don't feel comfortable saying I'm going now or if you don't have the confidence.

I'm sure we're all being over cautious RCR but best to be over prepared

[Shelley123]

Good luck with your date RCR, can't add anything that kazz and cm haven't said, good advice there.
That long since i had a date i can't remember anything,lol

[angieh]

I can't add any more advise really than has already been given. I hope your date goes well.

(My first date with my OH was chaperoned, both on my side and on his!!!)

[dandysmom]

Can't add anything to the above excellent advice! Hope all goes well, that you have a good time and that he's a nice person.

[Phoenix]

I don't drink alcohol anyway kazz :D (yuck!!!)

[Phoenix]

I have no idea what's happening still, the whole thing about meeting up never happened. Kept trying to arrange meeting him but he never responded.

[dandysmom]

That obviously wasn't meant to be.... sorry if you're disappointed (((hugs)))

[angieh]

Sorry RCR - it's probably not helpful to say "more fish in the sea", but just shrug and try again! (((HUGS)))

[pamela81]

My OH and i met online and then eventually after about a month, i got brave enough to meet up with an dhave never looked back!! We met in a quiet bar/restaurant that was half way between where we both stayed (also meant we didnt drink) and just it it off straight away. Now been together about 9month and its great. I moved in with him after abot 4month, quick but it was right and still is :)

Good luck with your date :)

[Phoenix]

Just wanted to say KW and I are back in touch :D He was really busy with work, was contacting someone else as well but apparently they really messed him about so now we are back in touch (spoke on the phone today)

It's getting a bit complicated now ... MD and I are still emailing (when he's out of hospital) and now KW's back in the running ...