Proud mum bragging alert!

[random]

Just had Myles parent's evening last night and I am so pleased I am just telling everyone I know at the minute so please forgive me.

Only thing academically he is on par with his age for is his handwriting which he finds difficult as he isn't the best with motor skills and we are still concerned about his social skills but otherwise he is way above his age in everything, for maths and English he is at the level they would like him to be next year when taking his SATs and in his reading he has came out with the same ability as the 'average' 9 year old and he is just 6!

As some of you know, we have been concerned that Myles may be aspergers or at least to some degree on the Autistic spectrum. We are looking more into the possibility of our worries over his social skills after the summer and perhaps have someone in to see how he does in school but his teacher has said that he has improved over the year, when he first moved to her class in 'activities time' he would only play on his own with the train set (as he did in reception) but she has tried to push him into doing other things and now he will do a few different activities but still he has the things he will do and is reluctant to do anything else, and his motor skills are improving but it all points in the same direction at the moment so finally biting the bullet I guess which i'm quite nervous about.

But all in all very pleased and very proud! :-D

[angieh]

So glad Myles is doing well and exceptionally in some areas. I don't know that much about child developmental milestones, but all children are individuals and some take longer at some skills than others. I am sure you have let him know that you are very proud of him! Well done Myles.

[yola]

Fantastic; well done Myles!! Dominik is similar, not quite 6 and achieving a reading age of just under 9, it's great when you hear news like that isn't it? :D

I think Myles is still quite young and it could be that there are confidence issues which are hampering his progression rather than any kind of tangible 'illness' cause.

There is a little boy with Aspergers in the class below Dominik and his symptoms are very pronounced . . . so if Myles has this he must be a very mild case because poor Aidan really does struggle with anything outside the absolute norm.

However, I would just urge caution with engaging specialists, especially through the school because once he is badged 'special needs' it can be more of a handicap than a benefit as he goes through life.

[Leesy]

That is great news about Myles`s parents evening (well done Myles);)
It sounds like he is doing fantastic and WOW at the level of a 9yr old at only 6 yrs for his reading i bet your head couldn`t fit through the door on your way home:lol:

[Mags]

You have every reason to brag, Random........very well done to Myles... :D

You have a delightful son who has a very caring mum..... good luck with his progress...:)

[angieh]

Just have to add that in my book any child who loves and respects animals as Myles (and Domi and Sebi) obviously do are the tops in everything else too! Shows a nice loving and caring nature - long may it last for these lads.

[Leesy]

Just have to add that in my book any child who loves and respects animals as Myles (and Domi and Sebi) obviously do are the tops in everything else too! Shows a nice loving and caring nature - long may it last for these lads.

That is so true Angie, there are so many children these days that just don`t know how to respect and care for any animals:(

[random]

So glad Myles is doing well and exceptionally in some areas. I don't know that much about child developmental milestones, but all children are individuals and some take longer at some skills than others. I am sure you have let him know that you are very proud of him! Well done Myles.
Thank you Angie, I am so pleased!

Fantastic; well done Myles!! Dominik is similar, not quite 6 and achieving a reading age of just under 9, it's great when you hear news like that isn't it? :D

I think Myles is still quite young and it could be that there are confidence issues which are hampering his progression rather than any kind of tangible 'illness' cause.

There is a little boy with Aspergers in the class below Dominik and his symptoms are very pronounced . . . so if Myles has this he must be a very mild case because poor Aidan really does struggle with anything outside the absolute norm.

However, I would just urge caution with engaging specialists, especially through the school because once he is badged 'special needs' it can be more of a handicap than a benefit as he goes through life.
Thanks Yola, it's made my life, I must be doing something right! I have been very cautious over this because of the exact reasons you have outlined, it's always been a wonder but I have hoped he would grow out of it, however my mum works with special needs children ranging from learning difficulties to children who are totally wheelchair bound and she has been pushing me to get an appointment, I have been sticking my head in the sand but at the same time he does struggle in some areas and I honestly find it difficult knowing what to do for the best in the sense. He finds social interaction difficult and with strangers it's very very difficult.

That is great news about Myles`s parents evening (well done Myles);)
It sounds like he is doing fantastic and WOW at the level of a 9yr old at only 6 yrs for his reading i bet your head couldn`t fit through the door on your way home:lol:
Thank you very much, I couldn't stop grinning, I still am now! :-D His teachers have said he's been a joy to teach, what with all his quirky ways and such lol.

You have every reason to brag, Random........very well done to Myles... :D

You have a delightful son who has a very caring mum..... good luck with his progress...:)
Thank you so much Mags, i'm so pleased!

Just have to add that in my book any child who loves and respects animals as Myles (and Domi and Sebi) obviously do are the tops in everything else too! Shows a nice loving and caring nature - long may it last for these lads.
Thank you angie, I think that's more important than anything, to be a loving and caring person and he is that.

That is so true Angie, there are so many children these days that just don`t know how to respect and care for any animals:(
This is very true and I find it very sad. :(

[dinahsmum]

He sounds a lovely boy.
I don't know a lot about the autistic spectrum but I do think that little boys aren't as good at mixing as little girls are, so maybe he is more of a late developer with social skills as a balance to his academic skills.

[Moli]

Well done to Myles, you have every right to be proud Random...Give him a hug from me....

[dandysmom]

Very well done to Myles and to you also; you're justifiably proud of him. I do agree with what DM posted above about little boys. And some children are very shy around strangers.

[random]

He sounds a lovely boy.
I don't know a lot about the autistic spectrum but I do think that little boys aren't as good at mixing as little girls are, so maybe he is more of a late developer with social skills as a balance to his academic skills.
Thank you dm, there's certainly a lot more to it than I have posted here but that's for another day although I do hope you are right and that it's nothing that will be with him for life.

Well done to Myles, you have every right to be proud Random...Give him a hug from me....
Thank you very much Moli! x

Very well done to Myles and to you also; you're justifiably proud of him. I do agree with what DM posted above about little boys. And some children are very shy around strangers.
Thanks Eileen I am very proud!

Ok here we go, I will give you a small insight into what I base my concerns on as it's a little more than being shy, he's certainly not shy. He will throw himself on the floor and start rolling around, climbing on me and pulling at my clothes and grunting if a stranger or someone he doesn't know well asks him a question, a simple question, what's your name, how old are you e.t.c. In Church for e.g., we have been there since Nov, he is like this with the people there he has known all this time although he is fine to run around being loud and boisterous in front of them, talk on the microphone saying 'hello' at the end of the Church service when everyone is having a cuppa, but still won't talk directly to anyone but the Sunday school teacher. His second tooth fell out and yesterday he woke up to £1 under his pillow so asked if we could go to the shop on the way to school, I said fine but I had the pup so I couldn't go in and he said ok. When we got there he went in and there was a different lady to usual which threw him and he wouldn't tell the lady what he wanted (we go in on an afternoon usually and this was first thing on the morning). He responded to this by crawling on his hands and knees out of the shop and pulling on my clothes, wouldn't tell me what was wrong I had to guess, when I asked he just kept making a noise 'UH'.

There is another shop we go to which he is confident at going in himself as it's a supermarket type layout and he doesn't need to say anything to anyone (rather than sweets behind the counter and he has to ask) and every time he will always come out with the exact same thing for 25p.

He also has certain routines he will get upset if broken, one is that he HAS to go to his grandad's every day before school for a cuppa, otherwise you can't even get him into the school, he will sit the yard and refuse to budge and gets very very upset, crying, screaming, the works.

When you understand all of his quirks e.t.c he's lovely, well behaved if rather full of energy! He is polite, kind and helpful and very loving to me especially, his grandad and nanny often get hugs and kisses when he deems fit, then his uncle is next in line but his auntie, who he has seen almost every day of his life, he very seldom shows any affection towards, his nanna who he has known all his life and seen at least once a week, more so when he was a toddler as she used to live with us, he won't show her any affection either and absolutely anyone else has no chance. His cousins (male and female) his age all give all the adults a hug when they visit and then go home, even the ones they see less than monthly, Myles won't even give his auntie he sees every day one (and he is actually really quite close to her, he does all sorts with her playing games e.t.c, he just won't show affection to her).

His motor skills are not very good, he is clumsy, he can't skip with a rope, his teacher said she has never not been able to teach a child to skip before they left her class but he's leaving and he can't skip! He finds throwing accurately and catching difficult, he can't ride a bike and even with stabilisers he can do it but slower than walking pace, he can't use a scooter very well, he can't bat a ball, he's not interested in playing out with friends or having friends over. When he goes to places (parties, after school clubs e.t.c) the way he is with his friends is often a bit odd. A couple weeks ago he was play wrestling with a boy a couple years older than him that he had never met before, he didn't speak to him, they were messing about in a paddling pool and got carried away and he just went over and started pushing him (in a playful way not aggressive) with him and luckily the boy obliged and joined in but Myles wouldn't talk to him and didn't understand when enough was enough and got quite upset when they boy didn't want to do it any more. He doesn't seem to be able to gauge things from their point of view while his peers can. One other e.g of this is that he doesn't understand when a joke has stopped being funny. A joke I might find funny and he doesn't understand he will laugh at because I laughed, then he will repeat it time and time again, over and over and laugh each time (falsely) even though he doesn't understand why it was funny, I mean 20-30 times or more when all the other children have long since lost interest. He does this wee game with a piece of seeded grass (where he says a wee rhyme and pulls off the seeds and throws them over me) every morning on the way to school about 20 times, and when I don't laugh he doesn't understand why I don't find it funny any more.

I could honestly go on all day, I have always put it down as his little 'quirks' and just managed it best I know how hoping he'd grow out of it but the older he gets, the more concerned I am becoming, there's no master class in parenting and quirky kids, I know some kids do some of the things he does and are otherwise fine but the last thing I want to do is bury my head in the sand and later realise when he's really struggling. I will welcome with open arms the specialist telling me i'm overreacting and he will grow out of it as he gains in confidence but rather the embarrassment of that than him reaching teenage years and really having a very hard time of it.

And if you have read all that you deserve a prize! Sorry for the rant!

[dandysmom]

Rant all you want here; it's good to get it off your chest and we're here to listen, rejoice in the happy things and offer sympathy and what advice we can for the sad things. I'm pretty clueless about children, but from what you describe it does sound like possibly a mild form of autism; can't see that a session with a specialist would hurt. I'm sure people who have kids can offer some more insight than I can ...((hugs)))

[Moli]

Like DM it sounds like a mild form of Autism to me too, he has trouble interacting with people??

[dandysmom]

And possibly a touch of OCD also ....the repeating of things and the adherence to a routine .......

[Kim]

You have every right to be proud - well done Myles. :lol: I have had a few 'proud mum moments' on here myself! Glad I'm not alone :-D

[random]

Rant all you want here; it's good to get it off your chest and we're here to listen, rejoice in the happy things and offer sympathy and what advice we can for the sad things. I'm pretty clueless about children, but from what you describe it does sound like possibly a mild form of autism; can't see that a session with a specialist would hurt. I'm sure people who have kids can offer some more insight than I can ...((hugs)))
Thanks Eileen. It's one of those things I try not to start on because once I get started it's hard to get me to stop!

Like DM it sounds like a mild form of Autism to me too, he has trouble interacting with people??
Thanks Moli, that's why we are leaning towards aspergers as it's primarily his social skills, or lack of.

For anyone interested:

http://www.nas.org.uk/asperger

And possibly a touch of OCD also ....the repeating of things and the adherence to a routine .......
OCD is actually really common on my dads side of the family to a degree that more people have it to some degree than not. It's often a part of 'something else'.

You have every right to be proud - well done Myles. :lol: I have had a few 'proud mum moments' on here myself! Glad I'm not alone :-D
Thank you Kim, i'm glad you understand where i'm coming from too, best feeling ever! :-D

[alexgirl73]

Kelly, you could almost be describing my Hayley!! I have had her seen by specialists, and their 'diagnoses' was extreme behaviour. She ticks a lot of boxes for certain things, but not enough of one to be given a definite! Hayley has just this last 2 months, learned to ride a bike, she still can't tie her shoelaces, and is one of the clumsiest children I know bless her :lol:, sh is forever covered in bruises and she has no idea how she got them. Does Myles' school have a nurture group? Hayley accessesed this in year 2 and it helped her a huge amount with her social skills (which were non existent at that point), and she has had continuing social help in the years since. She is by no means perfect lol (what child is), but has come a long way in the last few years, helped in part by a fantastic teacher this year. If you want to chat or anything, give me a shout :) xx

[random]

Kelly, you could almost be describing my Hayley!! I have had her seen by specialists, and their 'diagnoses' was extreme behaviour. She ticks a lot of boxes for certain things, but not enough of one to be given a definite! Hayley has just this last 2 months, learned to ride a bike, she still can't tie her shoelaces, and is one of the clumsiest children I know bless her :lol:, sh is forever covered in bruises and she has no idea how she got them. Does Myles' school have a nurture group? Hayley accessesed this in year 2 and it helped her a huge amount with her social skills (which were non existent at that point), and she has had continuing social help in the years since. She is by no means perfect lol (what child is), but has come a long way in the last few years, helped in part by a fantastic teacher this year. If you want to chat or anything, give me a shout :) xx

Oh Alex i'm so relieved to hear that, that's my worst nightmare to go through all the dr's e.t.c and be given a middle of the road result, i.e. yes he clearly has a 'problem' but not bad enough to warrant any support! How old is Hayley? No Myles cannot for the life of him tie his laces and gets very very stressed about that as most of his pals can do it now so after PE he will often just tuck them into his shoes rather than admit he can't and it's that sort of thing that upsets me because he does try his hardest.

I don't think they do they just have a session for the special needs' kids and he really could do without that, he's above average academically so really doesn't need taking out of his class but as it's almost end of term I won't find out much more 'til Sept now. I'm yet to meet his teacher for next year but I will be discussing it with her before they break up hopefully.

[alexgirl73]

Hayley was 9 in April of this year. She still has emotional outbursts, and I don't know if you get the constant high pitched whining from Myles, but that is her speciality lol. She knows she is slightly different from other kids, and it upsets her when she sees them laughing at her because she finds it so hard to control herself. She bursts into tears at the slightest thing, and has extreme difficulty in turn taking and sharing etc. Although, she has come a LONG way from the way she was. A great part of that is routine with her, and not saying that something will happen, and then it doesn't. She has to be prepared for all eventualities. Does Myles have fixations? Hayleys is currently Dr Who :lol:, she can tell you every episode, what happened in it, who was in it and millions of mind numbing facts!! Before that is was Barney the Dinosaur (for 6 years!!).

Nurture groups are fantastic, and I would perhaps discuss this with the head if you can. This link may help you :)

http://www.nurturegroups.org/pages/about.html

[random]

On another note Alex, you do sometimes have to push for a proper diagnosis on these things and I have been warned, my mum works in a children's respite care home for special needs and works with those who may just have a learning difficulty to those who are totally wheelchair bound and she works with a lot of autistic children of varying degrees and she was the first to say about Myles when he was just a baby but I thought he'd grow out of it and didn't want to have him labelled 'special needs' when I managed him just fine. Anyway she has said the amount of children in her care who's parents had to really push and fight for their kids to be properly diagnosed is ridiculous, (because they can only receive funding for the care the home she works at provides if they are properly diagnosed). So many are misdiagnosed before hand, it really does just put me off tbh but I don't want him struggling or being anxious when he doesn't have to be.

[random]

Hayley was 9 in April of this year. She still has emotional outbursts, and I don't know if you get the constant high pitched whining from Myles, but that is her speciality lol. She knows she is slightly different from other kids, and it upsets her when she sees them laughing at her because she finds it so hard to control herself. She bursts into tears at the slightest thing, and has extreme difficulty in turn taking and sharing etc. Although, she has come a LONG way from the way she was. A great part of that is routine with her, and not saying that something will happen, and then it doesn't. She has to be prepared for all eventualities. Does Myles have fixations? Hayleys is currently Dr Who :lol:, she can tell you every episode, what happened in it, who was in it and millions of mind numbing facts!! Before that is was Barney the Dinosaur (for 6 years!!).

Nurture groups are fantastic, and I would perhaps discuss this with the head if you can. This link may help you :)

http://www.nurturegroups.org/pages/about.html

Oh yes he does, ever since he was wee, about 2, he'd watch the film, 'Space Jam' over and over and over in a row as many times as you dare let him, day after day, that went on for months, perhaps even a year and he never liked playgroup or playing with other toddlers, he hated it to a degree that he would hide behind my legs the whole session, they were the first signs. At the moment he is obsessed with computer games, mostly Xbox360, he knows the levels of certain games so well he could do it with his eyes closed, get all the 'achievements' and tasks, everything, he remembers where everything is, how many, it's unreal and very difficult to get him to do other things, even more so that he struggles with outdoor activities (bikes, balls, e.t.c) so doesn't really enjoy sports and things, although thankfully he does enjoy walking/hiking. Don't get me wrong, he is limited on the console but he is obsessed with it. When we are out he will pretend he is playing it, or relate things to playing it, when playing a game or cards for example he will say 'You be player 2 and i'll be player 1'. When the teacher asks him what he does at home its really bad for me as that's all he talks about and I have to go in and try and tell her we do actually do lots of other things, he just has a total obsession! :shock: :roll:

[alexgirl73]

Oh I so know where you are coming from. I don't like the idea of Hayley being 'labelled' either, but I also know that if she goes to secondary without the proper support in place, it will be a nightmare for her. I am still trying to push for her to be seen again. But no one seems to want to listen. She is extremely bright (her reading level is about a 12 year olds), and she uses language in an astounding manner for a 9 year old. And her academic report for this year was excellent, but she is let down again by her behaviour. It isn't helped by the fact that the head doesn't think there is an underlying cause to it all, she just says emotional immaturity! Whereas many people I know with children who are ASD swear that she is just like their kids. I feel like I am constantly banging my head off of a brick wall!

[random]

Thanks Alex i'll have a look. x

[random]

Oh Alex how frustrating, I will have a word with my mum if you like and see what she says, I can't promise she will come back with anything that will help you where you are but she might have some useful advice of what you could try, I don't know but she's just told me that I will need to be prepared to push it before I even start, it seems everyone has to fight for a diagnosis which is surely wrong if the kids clearly need support and so do the parents, it's not easy by any means! Myles is my only child and he's all I have known so i'm used to it and for me it is just normal but when I have looked after other people's kids it's like a breath of fresh air at times.