My grandpa

[Tink]

Well..Step-Grandpa. Both my grandfathers died before I was born so he's the closest thing I know to one. We call him Flash.

Flash has been suffering from alzheimer's for awhile now.
It's gotten increasingly bad over the years. We all just adjusted ourselves around him and came up with ways to protect him or to not get him upset. I'm sure there's a part of him that's very frustrated.
Well, Flash has gotten much worse in the last month or two. To the point where he doesn't remember what a bathroom or a kitchen is..can't differentiate between a sink and a microwave..forgetting colors. Struggle to get him to eat or drink to little or too much and completely refuses to take medication when prompted.
We knew something needed to be done soon but thought we'd give it a little longer.
Well, sometimes the universe makes a decision for you.

Yesterday, Flash beat my grandmother. It was over something petty and his anger has been getting worse. Let's just say she is black and blue.
She dialed 911. The cops came and then his misdemeanor turned into a felony when he decided to punch the cop in the face. They scuttled him to the ground and called for backup and paramedics since he is elderly and hit his head in the process. Then he punched the paramedic.
His arraignment is today..anywhere from 8am to 5pm. The state issued a restraining order against him from my grandma. My grandmother cried all day, she loves her husband and knows he doesn't understand but she also has to look out for herself and today in court will tell them she cannot live with him anymore now.
My mom called the jail to see how he is doing. Refuses to eat, drink, or take meds since yesterday morning. Has no idea why he is there or what is going on.
He will most likely get commited into an alzheimer's facility or the only other option would be to serve five years in jail.
We knew it was coming. Just wish it didn't have to happen this way....

[alexgirl73]

oh Tink :( I'm so sorry, it's a horrible disease, and worse on the relatives as they understand what is happening. I hope the judge shows leniency to your grandpa, and I'm sure an alzheimers facility would be best for him ((hugs))

[dandysmom]

I'm so sorry it had to end that way; I do agree the Alzheimer's facility is probably the best solution, but what a pity it had to end like that. Your poor grandma. It's hell on the family and caregivers watching a loved one disintegrate like that ...(((big hugs!)))

[Leesy]

Tink I am so sorry to hear what is happening with your grandparents, Alzhimer`s is such a cruel disease to both the victim and the victims loved ones:(
I too agree that for your Grandpa going into the Alzhimer`s facility would be the best place for him and everybody involved.
((Big Hugs)) Xxx.

[yola]

Tink, that is a horrendous no-win situation fate has dealt your family. But it's probably for the best that your step-grandad is kept away under observation incase his anger next turns inwards against himself. I hope your Grandma can overcome this - not easy at any age, especially elderly.

[angieh]

Tink, I am so sorry to read this. It is a horrible situation, especially for your Grandma. I'm sure that your Grandpa would be very upset if he realised what he'd done. Terribly sad all round. I do hope that the court proceeds humanely for all your family's sake.

[MrsH]

I'm sorry your Grandma is having such an ordeal, it must be awful to see your loved one almost turn into a different person. Your Grandpa must be so confused, wondering what is happening. I do hope he's referred to an Alzheimers unit where he can receive the care he now needs.

[Tink]

Thanks, everyone.
Last I heard they released him to family but he can't go home because of the restraining order so my aunt was driving straight from the jail to a veterans hospital hoping they'd have a bed for him there today. If not, then they'd try another hospital..and if still not, try to take him home with one of them (hopefully he doesn't get too upset).
They said he has appointments set up for medical evaluation and a trial again on the 20th. I don't know what we're supposed to do in the meantime.
I was gonna see if they ended up getting him admitted but my mom was comforting my grandma all day and they just fell asleep out of exhaustion from the last two days and i didn't want to disturb them. i think my grandma had a hard day, she had to have her injuries evaluated and photographed.

[random]

Oh Tink i'm so sorry, your poor poor grandmother and your grandfather too as he will have no idea what he's doing anymore, bless them both and all your family, what a terrible thing to happen to all of you. :(

[calismum]

How tragic all round. I do hope that a solution can be found to give his, your gran and the family the support that is needed.

Alzheimers is such a cruel disease both for the sufferer and their family.

[angieh]

Ball back in your family's court then Tink - sounds as if the court has passed up the opportunity to help you all out. What's to happen at the next hearing on 20th, do you know?

[Tink]

No idea, Angieh. The Veterans Hospital wouldn't admit him yesterday because it's not a "war related illness".
He's staying with my half aunts. He thinks he was in a car accident and my Grandma is divorcing him.
My half aunts called my mother yesterday and told him they were getting a lawyer to sue my Grandma for half of the estate to pay for a facility.
It's not supposed to happen like this...

[jan]

Tink,I am so very sorry to hear your sad story. Surely some organisation must help deal with the person with the altzeimers and also help your family to cope? Could your dr not put you in touch with the correct people. I imagine it is probably different in America but here social services would get involved either through a dr or a hospital. Then either help would be given at home or the patient would be admitted to a care home. It is an awful situation and I wish you and your family all the best. Jan x