Heartbreaking News

[Leesy]

I don`t really no how to approach this subject really but I feel I could do with some support with how to help my friend get through what has happened.

I found out yesterday that my friends brother who had been missing since Monday was found dead Wednesday night, he had hung himself :shock: :cry: :cry: .

My friend is obviously distrought as she was really close to him and I am so distressed for her and her family it is all such a shock, I am trying my best to help her get through what is happening by offering comfort and support, she is quite a quite person anyway and I am just worried that she will withdraw within herself:( , any advice on how to handle things to get through it all would help greatly:( .

Not sure wether I should be posting something like this but I feel abit useless:? :oops:

[alexgirl73]

oh Leesy. First of all ((hugs)) for you. I have been through this, a few years back when I lived in Aberdeen, a good riend of mine committed suicide by the same manner. It is hard for those who are left behind. The range of emotions running through your mind is scary. Sorrow, anger, resentment, grief etc and you wonder why they didn't just come talk to you and give you a chance to help. All I can say is be there for your friend, give her the opportunity to let her grief out in any manner necessary. Encourage her to talk about how she is feeling, and perhaps once the funeral is over with, to seek some sort of counselling. Just keep a close eye on her just now and be there for when the tears fall xx

[angieh]

I can't offer any advice from my experience Leesy. However I do feel that it's fine for you to have posted this - and if we can help you to help your friend so much the better. Alex has offered good advice. (((HUGS)))

[pookyandjo]

it is very hard for all concerned... not that it makes it any easier.. but for people who REALLy do want to commit suicide, they will generally do it without any fanfare or indication... which makes it very hard for the people left behind because they wonder why they didn't see the signs, and help...I have dealt with many of these situations when i was in the police force and the only advice i can give you is that those left behind will deal with this in so many different ways its hard to have a contingency plan... just offer your friendship and let them guide you as to how they want to proceed...
i would think that there will be a coroners enquiry to ascertain the cause of death...and there will be lots of questions relating to the dynamics of different relationships to try and establish if there has been a contributing factor to the suicide... all of these things can drag on for a little while and will make it difficult for your friend and her family to move on... at least initially...but at the end of it they may have some answers as well..
she's lucky to have a friend like you Leesy.. she'll need all her friends and family at this time :)

[yola]

I have nothing to add other than the fantastic advice which has already been offered. I had a good friend take an overdose but as his organ failure was gradual we had an opportunity to go through things with him in the few days he had left in hospital, so a different albeit none-the-less harrowing scenario to that of your friend.

[Leesy]

Thanks everybody so much for your words of advice and support as to how to help my friend it is greatly appreciated.

It is such ashame for everybody and his family as he was only in his early twenty`s and has left behind a beautiful little daughter who is only 2yrs old:( .

The police were involved immediatly when he went missing (he didn`t turn up to pic his daughter up from nursery) as a friend of his had recieved a text message to tell his daughter that he loved her:cry: :cry: , and that when they find his car they will find him close by:cry: .

My friend just can`t understand why he wouldn`t have just talked to any of them as to how he was feeling.
It is terrible to think that anybody is that desperate to end their own lives like that, I know it happens but it is still hard to get your head around what has happened.

Thanks again for all your caring advice on this senitive subject.

[Elaine]

What a tradgedy, so very sad and I am very sorry.
I cannt really add to the good advice Alex has given but I can sympathise as many years ago now, my b/f took his life in the same manner.
All my love to you and your friend xxx

[kado]

My heart realy goes out to your friend and her family. Recentley my OH brother did the same. She is coping as well as can be expected as she only found out through the news as her family wont speak to her. All you can do is be there for her as much as she wants. She will recover but it might take time so be patient which i know you will be.

jane x

[Leesy]

Thanks Elaine and Kado for your kind words and advice, what is so scary is how many members actualy know of friends and family members that have done the same thing:shock: :shock: .I still can`t get my head around how anyone can decide that they want to end their own life and leave their loved ones behind:cry: .

[dandysmom]

How terribly sad for your friend. Alex and Jo's advice is very helpful; all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. Of course it's OK to post about it; just talking to friends can help you, and we are friends here. (((hugs)))

[Leesy]

How terribly sad for your friend. Alex and Jo's advice is very helpful; all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. Of course it's OK to post about it; just talking to friends can help you, and we are friends here. (((hugs)))
Thanks DM, I know we all are and it does help to talk:)

[CathyW]

im so sorry for your friends loss.
all u can do is just be there as a friend to let her cry on. just be you. when u lose some-one you end up leaning on some-one who is willing to just listen to u go over stuff.
so sad he left a little girl as well.
my condolances to his family and to you as well.

[dandysmom]

Something occurred to me, Leesy. His widow might need some help with things now, like picking up the little girl from school, some meals in the freezer so she won't have to cook (and probably won't feel like it), things like that. You could discuss that with your friend; it might help her a bit to be able to do something .........

[calismum]

Oh how sad for him and the people close to him left in this world. I cannot really add to the advice above. Just be there for her and offer to do anything you think needs doing.

It is very difficult for people to come to terms with this type of death. A colleague of mine took his life this way a number of years ago and his wife just wanted to know why. I think that is the hardest thing - not knowing why.

Your friend is in my thoughts.

[EmmaG]

I am so so sorry to read this, your poor friend :( Unfortunately when somebody wants to commit suicide very little will stop most people (and the people who succeed unfortunately do not announce what they want to do)

All you can do for your friend is to be strong and be there for her.

[Leesy]

Thanks again everybody for your kind words, it has been really hard for my friend as certain things are now coming forward from the police etc about what has happened which obviously is not nice to hear, and I am afraid that certain issues popping up about his girlfriend are not really nice and she is telling various conflicting stories about things leading up to the sad day:evil: :evil:

We are having abit of a battle to get her to eat anything properly, but at least we do seem to be getting her to eat something, hopefully this will get better.

Thanks again everybody for your support Pauline Xxx.