My Bengal Baby

[smokytopaz]

Well I picked him up yesterday and he has stolen our hearts, he purrs all the time chirps like a wee bird and is very loving and loves to be stroked.......... aw!

Koko is keeping her distance, and really maybe two spats since last night. This makes Rajah (my Bengal baby) more than a little nervous so he runs to me and chirrups, he is beee yoooooooooo ti ful.

He looks for her and she sits high and looks superior, however this is the first 24 hours - aw, finally a cat I can cuddle! Koko will come around I hope he will show her that humans are ok.

I tried for a piccy today, but right then he thought maybe he needed a wee sleep.

Try a mental picture of a baby leopard! Big paws and all aw. He is chirrupping to himself in the iron at the moment, no it ain't switched on!

[dandysmom]

What great news, ST! He does sound like a little sweetie; hopefully Koko will accept him soon. I think it's good that she hasn't gone off into hiding somewhere. Can't wait for pics of Rajah ...love the name.

[angieh]

Pictures ........ please! Sounds a lovely boy - chirruping!

[Moli]

He sounds just gorgeous, get your camera out please!!

[Leesy]

He sounds soooooo divine, pics soon please:D .
Sounds like Koko is accepting him if she hasn`t totally gone berserk and gone into hiding, thats good news.

[smokytopaz]

Well 5 am this morning screams from downstairs:shock: So I went down, he is sitting chirruping at Koko who is sitting on sofa all puffed up. As soon as she saw me whe flung a vicious swipe in his direction and flew upstairs, where she still is. She is shut in the small living room with a litter tray etc etc and the feliway diffusser on, but being her normal self.

He decided that he would just come with me, climbed on the bed, purred and curled up and went to sleep, so a couple more hours of sleep for me.

And do you know what? If she can't accept him, or calm down sadly she will be the one to go.:cry:

[smokytopaz]

Actually it is almost a sound track you need of this cat, not just a piccy. I have never heard a cat make these little cheep cheep noises!

[pookyandjo]

wow you got him... you move fast... last time i heard you were thinking about it.. good for you... looking forward to photos!

[smokytopaz]

Actually I had been thinking about it for a while, and Jenny (his breeder) only lives a mile away.

They are both asleep now, Rajah under my bed and Koko in the little sitting room with the door shut.

It is only a couple of days, and I think I will leave them separated today and tonight. We will see in a couple of weeks if this is going to work!

Piccys later.:D

[pookyandjo]

if it's any help... I have just introduced a new kitten to my established cat... we were told to get a dry face cloth.. pat the kitten with it.. and then pat the established cat with it... and then pat the kitten with it again... and do that a few times a day... it gets their scents swapped... which is what koko is probably peeved about...I know it's difficult for you to pat koko but mabe you could rub the cloth where she likes to sit/sleep instead of her .. it might be worth a try

[dinahsmum]

Yes - or a bit of bedding-swapping?
Good luck and be patient

[smokytopaz]

Oh Dinahsmum, I have been patient, and tonight I thought it was if she didn't know me again, this has always been Koko's problem. She seems to go to sleep and wake up in an entirely new world that she has never been in before,

The difference between her and Rajah is immense, he purrs and chirrups at her and she screams and leaves, It took me an hour to get her in from the garden tonight. Even though she sat, albeit pressed against the wall and purred as I insisted on stoking and being with her.

Oh and Rajah got into trouble tonight for peeing in the wrong place. Caught in the act, I picked him up and put him in the litter, he purred and looked embarassed, but even though I have three litter trays maybe her smell is beginning to upset him.

I feel that with her I am back at the beginning. I wanted a pet cat not a feral problem.

[smokytopaz]

Well guess what? I need some help here. I think she will have to go. This is awful.:cry: :cry: :cry:

[smokytopaz]

Oh I meant to say that Rajah understands bedding swapping he rolls and purrs and swiggles in all her favourite places so I guess he knows what to do, he comes from a big family!

[dandysmom]

ST, I know it's easy for me to sit here and say" be patient", but it is early days still, She's just been thru the trauma of a trip to the vet and an operation, and now there's a strange cat in her house. That's a lot for a very stressy cat to have gone thru so recently. And she hasn't attacked him, which is a good sign. Consider how far she's come from your first posts, and do think about hanging in there a bit longer .......
I'm praying things will improve.

[dinahsmum]

Oh, I feel so sorry for you, I really do. What to do? I don't know. I don't know what I would do 'if I was you' and I don't know whether any musings or suggestions I might put would do any good.
Again, as it is so complicated, I'm just going to jot random thoughts. If anything coherent appears at the end - well, I'll be amazed.

1. This is not what you wanted or planned. You had a Havanna previously who was a joy; you wanted to repeat that.
2. You know of no reason why Koko is 'different'
3. Koko's behaviour is odd; beyond the extreme end of 'normal'?
4. Is Koko happy without human interaction? Does her life seem pleasant to her? She plays, she enjoys her food - it's these damn humans who spoil it for her!
5. Could Koko live happily outside? She would have plenty to amuse her, she wouldn't need to come into contact with humans. You can get pleasant "kabins" (http://www.nicecatstuff.co.uk/buy/katkabin-dezrez-outdoor-cat-house.html?gclid=CNKBgvfnn5oCFUuE7QodAmWC8w) where they can sleep safe and warm
6. Would it be fair on anyone to attempt to rehome her? Who would want a 'cat that hates humans'?
7. Is she insured? Could you get a consultation with a behaviouralist?
8. (A nasty one) Koko is suffering a feline mental illness which is affecting her life so much that she gets no pleasure from living and the kindest thing would be to pts. I don't think that is the case, is it? - but if we're trying to examine all possibilities this has to be in the mix.


I feel so sorry for you; I hope a solution appears. Good luck

[smokytopaz]

All of these thoughts I have had except the last one.

Do cats suffer from mental illness? Honestly, both Mum and I have remarked that she can go to sleep and when she sees us again it is as though we are complete strangers and she is afraid.

:smt022

[pookyandjo]

I agree with both Dm's (UK and USA)... i think there are a couple of important things to remember... again i'll follow Dm's (UK) lead and put them in point form for ease of reading.

1. lets assume for a moment that Koko was a perfectly normal, friendly, well adjusted cat...introducing a new kitten into the household would throw any well adjusted, friendly cat off balance and there WOULD be some behavioural problems. (I know from experiece because i have just introduced a new kitten into my household with an established cat)

2. As DM (US) mentioned..Koko hasn't attacked Rajah (cute name BTW) which is a good sign...Koko has had a lot to contend with in the last few weeks with being spayed etc... But she HAS come such a long way from when you first got her...(at least it seems that way to me after reading through the previous threads..)

3. Some cats just dont get on... no matter what you try and do... but it will take a little bit of time to see if that is going to be the case...George and Tinky Winky (the boy i lost nearly 8 weeks ago were housemates for 7 1/2 years....70% of the time they were friends, 25% or the time they tolerated each other and 5% of the time they avoided each other because not everyone...cat, dog or human can get along together all the time..

I certainly dont envy your position... but please hang in there and give both of your babies a chance... if it comes to pass that Koko has to go... at least when you make that decision you'll be able to make it with the knowledge that you gave everyone concerned..(even yourself) the best chance

I wish you all the best of luck and i will keep my fingers crossed for you all

[smokytopaz]

I am going to do nothing at the moment, it is early days. I think the striking difference in their behaviour is getting to me. I am at the computor now with the door closed and she is wandering about, she just climbed and sat on the seat I was sitting on, but try and touch her and she is gone. I can force her into contact but she cowers for a while before she starts to gently purr.

After four months you would think she would know I am not going to hurt her. As far as I know she has never been hurt. Been made to do things she didn't want, but not hurt.

And no, she is truly not a candidate for rehoming, she would hate it.

[angieh]

I really am sorry for your situation ST, having had Kizzy for only 3 weeks who is affectionate and friendly. I know she needs a feline friend and am worried that will unsettle her, especially as her tummy troubles SEEM to be settling a bit.

Rajah (pictures please!) sounds like the perfect antidote to poor Koko. If I had a guess, I'd say it sounds as if she has a memory problem, but she is too young for any sort of dementia.

[Leesy]

I am going to do nothing at the moment, it is early days. I think the striking difference in their behaviour is getting to me. I am at the computor now with the door closed and she is wandering about, she just climbed and sat on the seat I was sitting on, but try and touch her and she is gone. I can force her into contact but she cowers for a while before she starts to gently purr.

After four months you would think she would know I am not going to hurt her. As far as I know she has never been hurt. Been made to do things she didn't want, but not hurt.

And no, she is truly not a candidate for rehoming, she would hate it.
I think that hanging in there and being patient a little bit longer is the best thing to do, from what you have said considering what a stressy nervous cats she is any way I think she sounds like she is doing really well with the new arrival she at least hasn`t viciously attacked him.
Even with cats that are easy going it can take a while for them to settle and accept a new feline companion, so pppppplease just hang on in there as I think it will all work out nicely in the long run:D

[smokytopaz]

Well we have had a pleasant afternoon! Rajah was playing with (systematically destroying) feathers on a stick and Koko was watching from the other end of the sofa when..... he took a flying leap after the toy and landed right next to her! :shock: Huge hissings and yells and she flew off. Well its time to separate them again for a while, she is in the ironing basket and he is in the puter room, so peace reigns again.

Little by little every day!

She is going nowhere, they will either have to become friends or learn to rub along together. She is a stressy cat. She is also beautiful and bright. And she will be fine. He is just so confident that she finds it all a bit intimidating! He is also very bouncy like Tigger!:lol:

[dandysmom]

Well we have had a pleasant afternoon! Rajah was playing with (systematically destroying) feathers on a stick and Koko was watching from the other end of the sofa when..... he took a flying leap after the toy and landed right next to her! :shock: Huge hissings and yells and she flew off. Well its time to separate them again for a while, she is in the ironing basket and he is in the puter room, so peace reigns again.

Little by little every day!

She is going nowhere, they will either have to become friends or learn to rub along together. She is a stressy cat. She is also beautiful and bright. And she will be fine. He is just so confident that she finds it all a bit intimidating! He is also very bouncy like Tigger!:lol:

I think you've summed it up very well there ...... I doubt they'll ever be friends but will tolerate one another eventually.

[Mags]

Do you think you could perhaps be expecting too much too soon from poor little Koko? Not all cats are cuddly or lap cats ....... also many cats are nervous by nature.

My cat Cassie is 12 now and I've had her since she was 6 - 7 weeks. She is extremely timid, gets scared and hides at the slightest noise or if a stranger comes into the house. She will not let me pick her up for a cuddle, her legs will push into me so that she can get away. Putting her in a cat carrier is still a trial even now but we get over it.

I have accepted that that's the way she is and I love her to bits. I have never 'pushed' myself onto her ....... everything has been on her terms. She will willingly jump onto my lap now for a snuggle - but it took a couple of years before she learned to trust me.

By introducing Rajah into your (and Koko's) home has most likely set her back a bit, albeit temporarily. She sees you making a fuss of the new arrival and wonders what has happened .......... did you introduce them to each other slowly over days or did they come face to face on the first day?

I think Koko will need to hear your reassuring voice more in these early days, don't worry about contact with her.......... let her come to you on her own terms ....... and above all, don't expect too much from her.

I wish you all the best with her, she deserves a chance and I hope that one day she will surprise you!:)

[Kazz]

You may find if Rajah is a confident cat it may rub off a little on Koko..........