A difficult step

[smokytopaz]

Patience is everything, but as Koko had got used to her environment, knew where to pee, knew food was there, possibly was beginning to accept me I decided one of us had to make the first move. Only time will tell if it was right.

I closed off her escape routes. I slowly forced her into a non escapable corner. Then I stroked and scratched her head and forced her to accept being touched (her BIG no no). I talked to her all the time, then after about five minutes I opened a door into her favourite place and walked away.

So am I going to be wrong? She looked like the cat in Shrek, flattened ears, huge black eyes but she didn't try to escape or bite me.

She may never talk to me again.

And that is the problem, she is sleeping all day and wandering about all night, playing and also yelling - not in heat yelling but lonely yelling. She so does not have to be.

Its like having a new baby except I can't stick a bottle in her mouth and shut her up that way!

Poor wee Koko, nothing to be afraid of and yet she is so scared!

[dandysmom]

Hard to say. I've never had a timid/wary kitten so don't know what I"d do in those circumstances. How did she act after the petting session ...? Will she play with things like the feather on a stick, or chase balls....might try romping before bedtime if she'd go along with it; tire her out a bit, also perhaps a small midnight snack. Leia sleeps all night, but the romp and food worked with my boys who tended to get active in the night. Just a thought.

[smokytopaz]

Well the petting session was about an hour ago, she retreated under the bed, and I left her there. Normally she will chase things on elastic, her best fav is an oversized marble, which at the moment is lost but I will find it, she was doing everything except allowing me to touch her. Which I need to be able to do. (Vet etc) If she is not a cuddly cat so be it, but I have to be able to pick her up without her having a total panic attack.

[Moli]

Have you tried shutting her in somewhere at night.....That way she will sleep, and be more alert during the day...Although being Siamese she will probably complain very loudly!!

[farthing]

I have always made a point of handling animals when they are scared. Lots of people think you should let them come to you, but some may never choose to do that. I never force it for long but do it every day, some like Mustard never come to enjoy it, but it allows me to handle them and they won't totally freak out. It is now paying off as he needs to be given tablets every 2 days, and without initial handling it would have been even more stressful for me and him.

[smokytopaz]

Oh thankyou Farthing, because that is my current plan, she may never love it but in order to facilitate the necessary things' she is going to have to learn that I am going to handle her and she will have to do things she doesn't always like.

She has come out from under the sofa and has been munching treats from my fingers so she doesn't hate me that much.

Or of course she really loves these treats. (they are weird sticks semi moist that stink to me but are delicious to her!)

Oddly no vocals.

[dinahsmum]

It sounds to me as though you are doing the right thing.
You are right about needing to be used to being handled, even if she never gets to actually enjoy it (I hope she does!). It could save her life at some point in the future and will certainly make routine fleaing and worming much less stressful
Good luck

[calismum]

Think you are doing absolutely fine with her. Little bit at a time.

[smokytopaz]

Well, tonight I am so sad for her. She spent two hours stuffed into a tiny corner because she thought I was going to try and touch her again.

When I saw where she was I thought I would just turn off the light, and go away into another room with my dinner and leave her to calm down and go find her dinner.

She was still there two hours later.

I have a feeling this little girl is not going to settle.

She is behaving like a feral cat. She has no trust at all, even after six weeks.

She played happily this morning for a couple of hours then she went off to sleep, I went out and the next time I saw her she behaved as if I was a total stranger.

Now what?

I am just going to ignore her completely tonight, and let her calm down. She is frightening herself, for there is nothing to fear from me.

[dandysmom]

This is so sad. I've been following Koko's story since you first posted; seems for a bit that she's getting better, then regresses. Have you talked to her breeder? Are the other kittens in that litter well socialized? That is just heartbreaking that she shrunk away from you like that in fear of being handled again....

I really have no ideas; sure you've used Feliway and Bach's Rescue Remedy; have you considered adopting another kitten about her age who's very social and people oriented? Don't know if that would make it better or worse?

All I can say at this point is (((hugs)))

[farthing]

Don't dispair, we have often found that animals with behavioural problems get worse before they get better, and it all feels pointless.
We have also, often found we can get past that, by continuing to do what we are doing, no fuss, ingore the behaviour and remain calm.
An example, we took in a rabbit who had been taken in by a rescue, she was found covered in cigarette burns and had a broken foreleg when they found her, she was terrified. She spent about 4 years at the rescue, never being handled, then we were asked to take her. She would growl, bite and scratch, we persisted and by the time she died we could pick her up wearing a t-shirt. She was never relaxed, but she trusted us not to hurt her.
Your kitten will be scared, but won't stay in the corner forever, she will learn that behaving like this, lets her off the hook. Give her a pet at a routine time and offer a treat at the end, and she can them relax afterwards.
Tabatha is a loving little cat, but hates getting her tablets, she runs away in the morning to avoid them, the rest of the day she is normal, she nows she can then relax.
I would suggest you use a feliway while you do this and take it very slowly, if you have a good day don't push more the next- keep it steady, until she is totally calm for a couple of weeks before you move on.
I can only say this is our experiences and all animals are different, but don't be disheartened yet.

[angieh]

I have been feeling very sorry for you and Koko and wondered whether you had read Elaine's experience with Reiki therapy and her cat Eva?

I am sure farthing's advice is good - she has all the experience with dealing with cats that are stressed because of what they have had to go through poor loves - but it seems from what you have described that there really is no reason that your Koko should seem so scared. Just wondered if you have a Reiki therapist anywhere near you who understands cats?

[smokytopaz]

I have been wondering this, if it involves massage, I can't get close enough (yet) to Koko, so what is Reiki??

[smokytopaz]

Oh and I think Koko's problem stems from the fact that she was never truly socialised as a kitten. She is shy and if she hung back in to room full (4) of boistrous kittens she simply never got truly cuddled.

[dandysmom]

I suspected that a while back when you first started posting about her wariness........
what a shame, but she is improving slowly.

[Mags]

I have been wondering this, if it involves massage, I can't get close enough (yet) to Koko, so what is Reiki??

Here's the link to Elaine's thread about Eva and her experience with Reiki, you may find it interesting and worth considering ......

http://www.catsey.com/showthread.php?t=28711&highlight=Reiki

[angieh]

There was also a follow up thread started by Elaine -

http://www.catsey.com/showthread.php?t=31555

in which you will see that a very new member on this forum pixiekittie is a Reiki therapist herself.

[calismum]

I too have been following Koko's story.

I think all the advice you are being given is sound and you are doing nothing wrong.

I have had a couple of feral/unsocialised kittens and she sounds as if she is behaving the same way. Eventually all could be handled and I am sure that Koko will get there.

Please keep us posted on how she is doing.

Big (((hugs))) to you both.

[Leesy]

When I first got my Beloved little Charkie he was a ferile kitten of the local farm, to catch him the farmer had to bait him out with some food and catch him in a box, when I got home I was expecting a sweet cuddly little kitten, but as we opened the box he shot straight out like a rocket, banged into the french doors then wedged himself behind a big book cupboard, he stayed there while me and OH emptied the cupboard, then while my OH pulled it forward I got a tea towel to wrap him in as he was hissing and spitting at us he was totaly wild.
To calm him down I kept him wrapped in the towel so that he couldn`t scrach me or get away then I sat down with him on my knee and just talked to him and stoked him still keeping him tight in the towel, he eventually fell asleep on me and I was able to let the towel relax and he stayed there on me for what must have been hours.
The next day he was still hiding but not as scared and I did the same again with the towel, and did this every day a couple of times a day for at least a week and he turned into the biggest softiest cat that you could wish for, people that came round could not believe that he had once been a ferile kitten, the bond between us was increbile and I still miss him madly.
So all I can say is just keep going and doing what you feel is best it is worth it in the end.;)