Problems with Tolly and Cleo

[cats' staff]

This has been going on for a while but is getting worse and we are stumped. Cleo is 10 and has always been a nervous cat, sneezes, plastic bags, loud noises, all freak her. Tolly is 4 and, apart from the usual stress when introducing a new addition to a cat family, they tolerated each other for 3 years. The last 6 months though have been a problem. Whenever Cleo sees Tolly she hisses and snarls and seems really scared. Tolly reacts to this and stalks her. I've never sees him actually attack her but he does play as though he will. I tried the feliway plug in diffusers for two months but they had no effect. We need to break this cycle as if Cleo didn't hiss Tolly wouldn't react and if Tolly didn't stalk her Cleo wouldn't hiss! Any ideas anyone?

[angieh]

I'm sorry to say cats' staff that I have only ever had 2 cats together and although they were never friends, they stayed out of each others' way and never really came to blows, hisses or stalking.

I am sure someone else with multi cat household will be along to offer some practical advice soon.

[dandysmom]

I'm sorry to hear this, and that I have no advice either. I've never had more than 3, two girls simply tolerated one another with only the occasional hiss; the boy cat got along famously with one girl, and learned to let the other one be. This must be really distressing for you; hope someone with more experience will be helpful .......

[calismum]

Similar to above. I once had 4 together and 2 were pals the other two just pretended they were in single cat households.

Rest of time it's be one or two and no probs.

I remember years ago reading something about rubbing them all over with strong scented baby wipes. Then they smell like two 'unknown' cats. Don't know if that would work or make things worse.

Know that's probably of no help at all but hopefully someone else can offer advice.

[yola]

I don't know why some of these posts are not showing up in my 'view new posts' selection, otherwise I would have answered sooner!

I have 2 cats (my old girl Fifi and my new additiona Myshka) who seem to be developing a very similar pattern. Myshka will stare Fifi out who will then hiss at him. He will then run and her and she'll flee with him in pursuit. They'll stop, regroup and then start again. This is all accompanied by Mysh's mournful wailing!!!

To be honest as mine don't come to blows I just let them get on with it. But I can understand your concern if Cleo is very meek and is being bullied. Can you separate them for periods of time; let them have completely their own space?

Other than that I don't really have any suggestions . . . but I'll have a think on it.

[dinahsmum]

I tend to the view that they are cats, not people, and that you should let them work it out, cat-wise.

It's natural to watch as a human and put kind, human, thoughts and attributes; we feel we should step in and protect the 'bullied' one. However, in nature there is almost always a pecking order, with the strongest/boldest at the top and the meekest and weakest at the bottom. That's life, for them, and we should try to stop putting human emotions on it. The bullied one probably doesn't spend its whole life agonising over its situation, nor does the bully occupy himself thinking of more and more dastardly plots to make life even more hell for his victim.

Unless they are really taking chunks out of each other, or the meek one is so upset she stops eating, or you get bad toilet behaviour, etc, I think that what you should do is just stand back and let them get on with it. Tolly will be top cat, Cleo will accept it.

We'd all love our fluffy babies to cuddle together and be the best of pals. It doesn't always work like that. Good puss-parents should try to chill.

Hope peace breaks out soon. (Have you read Cat Confidential by Vicky Halls? She's very good on cat psychology)

[cats' staff]

Thanks and I agree that it is sometimes a good idea to let them work it out but Cleo has taken to virtully living under the bed or in the aring cupboard. Mind you- given the current temperatue I may join her.

She does occasionally poo upstairs at the moment so we have given her another litter tray up there to see if that helps.

I'll have a look at the book mentioned

[yola]

My 3rd cat, Balie is very nervous and tends to live in our bedroom. He used to poo and pee everywhere in there, but since putting the litter tray in he's happily using it. OH's a bit sniffy about having a tray in the bedroom but if Balie's happy then I'm happy and it's staying!!! It could be that Cleo's just happiest in her 'own space' so maybe work with her on that one.

[farthing]

I have 9 cats, 8 living in the house, well 3 go out during the day. I try to make sure there are plenty of high up places for them to hide/sleep and have 8 litter trays available. Candy is the only real bully and she patrols the hallway, although I think to her it is play, but other than chasing the others and giving them a bat, there is no harm done. For me as long as nobody is taking chunks out of each other, I leave them to it, there is no messing in the house and everybody eats and sleeps happily, I don't see it as a problem.

[cats' staff]

Maybe I'm worrying too much!

[Rosie]

I have an 11.5 year old Rosie and a 2.5 old Alfie. Alfie stalks Rosie all the time and she hisses and spits and swipes him BUT I think it is all in play. They sound like a heard of elephants upstairs and Rosie will often egg Alfie on. I think it is hard for us to distinguish whether they are just going through rituals or really hate each other but I guess it is probably the first.