vicious

[pk-bailey]

Bailey isnt very affectionate...

we can barely touch her, unless she's half asleep.

any advice?

[Mags]

Is she a timid cat?

[pk-bailey]

not really, shes quite lively

[yola]

She's ever so young isn't she. How long has she been with you? Could it be that she's just frightened and is lashing out? I think you need to give her a little space; don't totally ignore her obviously but spend time with her but without touching her. Let her get used to you being around. Cats are very sociable on the whole as well as curious :D and she'll probably come over on her own for a sniff and a nuzzle sooner rather than later.

[pk-bailey]

she's been with us since february.

I was wondering if a companion for her might help.

what do you think?

[yola]

Hmmmm. I think that might unsettle her further. I would work on gaining her trust and confidence first before introducing (as she would see it), competition.

[Donna]

Could you try rescue remedy in her drinking water to calm her a bit? And she might realise you are not that bad once she has calmed a bit?

[calismum]

is she like that with everyone or just with you?

[pk-bailey]

everyone.

She's calmed abit from a few months ago but still can only pick her up for a cuddle when she's just woken up. whats this escue remedy and where can i get it?

[yola]

Also feliway plug-ins are good for general calming of stressed cats. I would hazard that she's stressed . . . one other question though, has she been neutered? If not this could also heighten aggression at certain times.

[meep]

pk-bailey, I'd just like to comment on what you said about how you can only pick her up once she's just woken up. The majority of cats don't like being picked up. They can either not respond, squirm, hiss, wriggle out of your arms, and it can make them tetchy and a bit timid, and aftewards they may go and hide.

I would suggest avoid picking her up at all, especially after she's just woken up, as this is when she's most vunerable. I'm guessing even when she's completely relaxed and affectionate, she just won't like being picked up, and by doing this you're making her wary of being touched.

Just sit in the same room as her, reading a book or something, and she may come over and sniff. If she does, don't immediately go to pet her, just let her sniff you, and talk to her in a high-pitched, soothing voice. We've had Minsky for 4 1/2 months now, and he is quite affectionate, but still if he comes up to sniff at me first, rather than me going over to him, if I go to pat him on the head he'll duck down and run away.

I've read that in cat-dynamics, the 'dominant' cat is the one that walks over and initates contact. Unlike dogs, the way to show a cat your interested is to maybe avoid eye contact, act shy and demure yourself, and slowly build trust.

Cats are funny creatures, and can have 'off' days, although I appreciate that Bailey hasn't been 'on' really since you got her. I'd give her more time and give her space. It sounds strange, but less physical contact may make her more trusting. I find talking to them whenever they're around in a high-ish voice helps :) Good luck!

[pk-bailey]

no she hasn't been neutered, going to vets tonight, going to talk to him.

[angieh]

Hope the vet can offer some advice - it's sad, because she looks so lovely and I totally understand that you want to cuddle her.

Another thing is that generally female cats are more "offish" than males. That is a generalisation, but one I've found to be true. That's not to say that a female once she trusts you won't give affection in her own way and on her terms. That's a cat for you!

[Kazz]

I would not worry overly my Oscar hated being picked up and we managed to chug along for 23 years he eventually decided it was okay to be fussed as long as it was on his terms he was not an affectionate cat per say...however he was very loving.

[Elaine]

Eva the Diva has always hated being picked up, you should here the language she uses if you try, if you succeed the language is even worse:shock: :lol: