My cat is becoming so antisocial, help!

[pumpkinpoo]

Hello everyone, I'm new here and desperately in need of help. My cat, Nina, is getting on a bit. She's 12 and has developped antisocial behaviour over the last few years, but now it's becoming impossible. Tonight I am in total despair after having cleaned up sick, poop and pee! So basically the worst is that she rarely uses the litter tray nowadays. She pees every single day (whether the tray is fresh or not) usually in the bathroom, on the bath mat if it's been forgotton on the floor, or on any bag or piece of clothing that may be on the floor or simply trailing. Sometimes she does revenge pees on the bed if we've been away for a couple of days or had company. Then there's the food, she won't eat anything except expensive meat in prepacked sachets, and even then she's really picky about the flavour and can get tired after a week or two! I'm always giving away cat food cos I just have to throw it away otherwise. She can't have too much dry food because of her age, but if I've come home late and not served dinner at dinnertime, or if she didn't like the meat that was put down, she gorges herself on the croquettes and then chucks it up on the carpet (there's only the one rug now but she always chucks up on the same spot more or less, grrr!) She's stopped washing herself, but I think that's normal for an aging cat, so I just try to stroke her as much as possible cos she hates being brushed. Also she pooped under a bookshelf today. And she'd pooped on the carpet lately. I'm at the end of my tether, I mean she's too old to be told off and what's the point? I get in from work and the sick/pee/poop is already dry so she won't understand if I tell her off. Anyway, she knows she's done a naughty cos she runs off looking guilty as soon as I get home. Is there anything I can give her or do for her? The food thing is getting pretty tricky cos it has to be at certain times, certain foods and even a certain bowl! Does anyone have any tips? I'm going out of my mind!

[calismum]

Hi pumpkinpoo and welcome to catsey.

Sorry to hear about all the problems you are having with Nina.

I can't think of any magic cures as if this has been happening over a long period then the root cause is perhaps something that happened a long tome ago?

Have you discussed her problems with your vet? Just in case she has some underlying stomach/digestion problems. Although I believe a cat will pee and poo due to environmental or emotional upset I would have thought chucking up food will have some medical reason.

Other than that - can you restrict her to one area when you are not n the house? This might at least reduce the cleaning all over the house.

Can you think of anything that may have upset her? Did you have other pets that are no longer there or have you introduced a new pet/person to the house.

Have you moved?, changed where her litter tray is or the litter you use? things like that may have upset her.

Maybe try more than one litter tray.

Apart from that and lots of sympathy I can't really think of what else to advise.

We have lots of experienced people on here so I hope one of them will be along to give you advice soon.

CM

[Elaine]

Firstly can i please say that your cat does not know that she has done wrong, all she knows is that you are angry. She doesnt know what revenge is either.
I am so very sorry and i really feel for your frustration. Has she been checked over by a vet? There may be an underlying health reason for her behaviour. Has there been any changes within the home? Such as new baby, new furnature, new house, routine changes, anything at all that might shed a little more light as to why she is doing this?
It may be a big stress thing.
The first thing would be to rule out any medical issues.

[dinahsmum]

Poor you.

I think you probably need veterinary help first of all. If the vet can exclude a physical reason for all this (maybe thyroid, maybe early feline Alzheimers?) then you will have to think of the behavioural route.

I agree with Elaine that cats don't do 'Revenge', although they may do despair or fear or confusion. Nina may be very very anxious, and I think a Feliway (http://www.feliway.uk.com/feliway_uk.nsf/Page?OpenForm) diffuser may help her. This takes a few weeks to kick in, so don't expect miracles overnight.
Also - does she play? Try to find little games she can play with you - it will help calm her and hopefully help you remember the lovely pet you used to enjoy, rather than this puking, peeing, pooping, neurotic monster you now feel you have.

As for food, I think, if the vet says she is physically healthy, I might just offer her one type of food, from one clean bowl, in one place, and only available for 10 minutes. She eats it, or it's lifted up. Offer her 3 times a day, if you can. She then has 2 choices - eat or be very hungry. If you can keep this up I think she will decide she would rather eat by the time day 3 or 4 comes around.

Have you read Cat Confidential by Vicky Halls? It's very good and very readable on the difficult subject of cat psychology.

Very best of luck

[pumpkinpoo]

Well thank you all very much for your speedy replies. Nina has been depressed in the past for various reasons (other pets, moving house) but nothing has happened in the last few years that I can think of. She's a very nervous cat and I've already tried Feliway and it didn't stop the peeing, however I shall go and get a recharge. I would like to say that I don't get angry with her and I don't bother telling her off as there's little point seeing as you've got to catch them red handed for them to understand and I'd never hit her or anything like that. She'd been hit by her previous owner (she was nearly 1 when I got her), I'm sure of that cos she's terrified of brooms.
I shall take her to the vet's again and ask about possible health problems thyroid, etc. I've lately been recommended a really good vet.
I'm also going to try the extra litter tray cos I reckon the poo was because she just didn't make it in time. I'll try the food only at dinner times and I reckon I'll order that book. It sounds right up my street!
Thank you all again. Hopefully it's just behavioural and will be sorted out in time. I doubt it tho, I've been trying lots of stuff like 15min cuddle time in the morning before work, leaving the radio/music on when she's on her own, playtime 'til she's wiped out, the works! And it hasn't made an iota of difference. Just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope she calms down a bit. Has anyone tried homeopathy?

[calismum]

No personal homeopathy experience.

Friend used Kali phos on a very nervous and claustrophobic dog and it was great, calmed him right down.

Different friend swears rescue remedy works wonders when she needs to take Oscar to vet or cattery.

Maybe someone else will have other natural remedy ideas.

CM