OH problems again

[kado]

My OH has just informed me that i can still have some rabbits but i will have to wait till later. First it was because we was looking after Albert then it was the BBQ I was supposed to getting them on Wednesday. Its how OH brings up the subject. I realy am hopping mad at the moment.

jane

[Kazz]

Is that a pun.... rabbits hopping mad...............;)

[Kazz]

Sorry, for previous post but had to be said....:)

[Kazz]

Can I ask why you let your OH dictate what you do....you should be partners should you not?

[dandysmom]

I have to agree. OH seems to be a very controlling person.......surely your wishes should be considered if they're reasonable, and they certainly seem to be from what you've said. Compromise? Or always "my way or the highway..." ???

Sorry if this is a bit too personal....

[Kazz]

I agree with Dm......almost from what yu have said as if you are a child to be rewarded with what you want when your OH chooses....partnership should be equal in these sort of things or at least spoken of and agreed..... Could be way off the mark here....

[dandysmom]

I could be way off too; relationships often look different from the outside. But from this post and others it doesn't seem to be much give-and-take there....

[kado]

I total agree with you both. I think this could be the final straw.

[Jac]

Jane, I afree with the others. I'm just out a controll freak relationship. (9 years))
At one point I wanted a rabbit for my daughter. I could get one if I stopped smoking. Things like that.
I stayed so long because of my daughter (not a good idea) and I thought no one would want me.
I was so very wrong! I have a great guy now.
Go with your heart and be honest with yourself.

[Donna]

I left my husband of 20 years and would not stand for anyone telling me what I can and can't have now!!!

Life it too short to be treated like a child forever.

[dandysmom]

I've never been in a relationship with a controlling person, but Jac and Donna have; listen to what they say, please.....you do not, and haven't for a long while, sound happy.

[Kazz]

Other than that sit down and write out what you want to change and what you want to do and what makes you happy....and unhappy then work out if there is a common denominator and if there is what can you do about it.....then try going out for a drink...???somewhere and explaining you are unhappy or want to do things..without having to get persmission....you may find your OH is in a similar frame of mind....and all you need to do is air the feelings...and maybe relationship councilling could work...?

Above all remember why you got together and you may be able to step into a different "chapter of the relationship" one each of you is happy with.

[dandysmom]

As always, very sound, well thought out advice from Kazz.........

[Elaine]

I have nothing more to add to what others have said other than, I wish you all the very best, what ever the outcome. Dont let life and love pass you by xxx

[yola]

Jane, can I ask . . . are you an impetuous type? Will you see something and just go and get it/do it/say it, regardless? Because I'm like that and it frustrates the heck out of my OH because he's always having to put the brakes on me. Not just in the case of spending (mostly) but also due to my rather gobby tendencies :oops:

Is your OH trying to temper that by 'putting the brakes on' and are you misinterpreting it as 'control'?

It's just a thought and not a criticism . . . I'm really using myself as a yardstick and putting it forward as a suggestion.

[Kazz]

Good point there Yola......I do that I think Oh I'll have that then when I think about it not such a good idea....I learnt to brake myself

[yola]

....I learnt to brake myself

Good on you Karen. I haven't yet . . . and probably won't :oops: :oops: :oops: