Not getting a kitten now

[kado]

I am realy upset with my OH. We took a friend to the airport on Sunday morning and had something to eat, The bombshell was dropped that we are not getting another kitten. I have hardly spoken since then. OH knows why i am untakative but wont back down. We are waiting for a house move and then i am supposed to be able to have another one but its the one i was going to get that i want. What makes it worse i have told my two daughters and one even wants to join here and tell you all about her cat. OH is telling the person with the cat tonight that we arnt having it. Christmas is not a very good time for me and this realy did give me the boost that i need. Now i dont believe anything OH says. To be truthful i am heartbroken.

jane

[Kazz]

Given you are moving house, your OH may be right maybe agreed and has now thought about it, to be honest I am not sure I'd
take on a kitten with a house move on the cards.

Has your OH given any reason for the change of mind other than the move? maybe its just cold feet. It is a lifelong descision as you know and everyone has to be in agreement.

Your daughter could join here anyhow, and I am sure they will understand in time children do. Like cats they live in the present.;)

I can see from your post you are upset but maybe hearbroken is a little strong - you sound like you feel more let down than anything, and that I can understand.
But on the other hand you see I make descisions on my own regarding my animals yes I isten to opinions and my OH's point of view but the dogs and Oz and Cleat were mine and this is my house so it makes descisions easier for me.

But if it were a joint desiscion then I would understand and listen to my OH and if he did not want a cat then I woud listen and go with him on that. I would rather an
animal be wanted by all in the family than not wanted by one.

Have a cat when it suits everyone. Which I am sure will be sooner rather than later.


Sorry just another thought is the refusal to now have a kitten due to something else, and this is the only way your OH can get their own way and hurt you in the process.
Karen

[babycakes]

Has OH given any reason why they have changed their mind? Did they want another one in the first place or were they just agreeing with you?
I ask this because my OH took 10 years before we got Denis. I always wanted cats but he had never owned one so he wasn't interrested. He kept saying yes to begin with and this got my hopes up and then he would retract and I felt let down. (I think I never really took his feelings into consideration and was hell bent on getting a cat as I don't feel my house is complete without one.)
Anyway he gave in and we got one. OH didn't adjust very well and it took a long time for him to accept Denis and Denis is still very wary of him because he wouldn't talk to him, play with him and used to complain about him crying or making a noise. (Denis isn't very light on his feet).
He thinks the world of him now and complains now that Denis doesn't like him!!!.
I think men want to be the centre of attention and they are not when kids or animals are in the picture. I think they feel left out and would never say this. (my OH continually tells me that there is a definite ranking system in our house with Denis as Alpha male). (I'm assuming OH is male, by quoting my opinions on men!! sorry to have made this assumption if OH is female)
Unless your OH has a vaild reason, and they need to express that, then I feel that they are just being stubborn and awkward. Its as much your house and your daughters as it is theirs and there would be 2 against one if it went to vote X Good luck

[dandysmom]

What a terrible disappointment. Do you think he's really adamant about this, or could he be talked around when he realizes how much it means to you? (((hugs)))

[alexgirl73]

Jane, can you and your OH not sit down and talk about it. Perhaps she just doesn't realise how much this actually means to you. Hope you manage to sort it out ((hugs))

[yola]

I would suggest much the same as Alex. However, as in any relationship there are compromises to be made - I hope that she can give you some good reasons for her decision and that you can maybe reach some kind of acceptable middle ground.

I sounds as if you're very upset so probably best to wait until you're calmer and then sit down and talk it through.

Good luck.

[Kay]

So sorry that this situation has arisen. I too would feel heartbroken and cheated as well. Please try and talk this through together to get to the bottom of it before it overtakes your feelings for your OH, as this could possible happen with the strength of your feelings at the moment.

Good luck.

[Grete]

Surely this is a decision that should have been made by both of you, not one person saying what you can or can't do?

If there is no good reason for your OH to decide this then I would question what the real motive is?

Sorry you are having to go through this, nothing worse than having a dream snatched away :(

[kado]

Thanks for all your thoughts about the subject. OH told the owner on Tuesday that we have decided too not have the kitten it wasnt us it was the OH desison. OH has promised me when we move i can have another one but at the moment i dont believe anything she says. All my cats are spoiled rotten everybody in the villiage knows the cats names and dont know's mine so if another one joins the gang they will be loved too bits.

jane

[smudgley]

Well if you want a bit of advice Jane, I think if a house move is on the cards, it is sensible to wait until you have moved. Moving house for a cat or kitten is a major event (not like a dog) who would just accept the move. Cats don't accept changes well, so a new home then a new kitty is a great idea & something for you all to look forward to. :cool:

[Rosie]

When I was married both me and the children desperately wanted a pet but were "not allowed" one. I eventually did the right thing and got shut of him - when he met up with his next wife the first thing they got was a dog!!

Sorry but I do know how you feel anger, upset, resentment. Compromise has to be done but I felt the compromise was always mine.

Not very helpful I know but I do understand how you feel.

[Kazz]

Well if you want a bit of advice Jane, I think if a house move is on the cards, it is sensible to wait until you have moved. Moving house for a cat or kitten is a major event (not like a dog) who would just accept the move. Cats don't accept changes well, so a new home then a new kitty is a great idea & something for you all to look forward to. :cool:

Totaly agree with Smudgley. Okay your OH's timing may be a bit cr*p but other than that I think I agree moving and a kitten is not a good mix. Its stresful enough.

[Grete]

I just had a thought Jane - if it's the timing that is your OH's reason, and I do agree with Smudgely and Kazz that moving and new kittens don't really mix.

I know you had your heart set on one particular one - is it possible you could ask the owner if she would be willing to keep her until you are settled and can take her on. You could offer to pay for food etc in the meantime maybe.

Was just a thought and I do feel for you :(

[dandysmom]

That's an excellent idea of Grete's! Why not give it a try?