Values and Christmas

[Jac]

Not sure if this is in the right place.

I've been thinking about Christmas, Past Christmases and the kids. I'm wondering if you agree that values seem to have changed?

Ceilidh has not got a tv in her bedroom, she doesn't have a nintendo DS (at the moment) but gets to play computer games on the PC for a little while at a time. We play board games with her and card games.
Our TV goes off at meal times, we sit round the table and "talk" about our day.

Just recently she has gone to a couple of friends from school's houses. The kids seem to have everything from TV's to there own laptops.

[dandysmom]

As a non-mom, maybe I shouldn't comment on this, but I think you're raising her with good values! Rampant consumerism has gone wild, kids seem to want it all earlier and earlier.....

[Jac]

I agree Eileen. They seem to grow up so quickly. Some of Ceilidh's friends even have mobile phones...at 6:shock:
It makes me wonder if there parents buy them all these things to get them out there hair.

Ceilidh has written her wish list to Santa. She asked if we had to pay for the presents. I said yes but Santa chooses which one's she gets. His fairy's keep an eye on how she behaves. (think this will be the last Santa year). She put a lot of thought into it at the end she said she would also like an nintendo DS but with the other things that would be being greedy. (bless)
She's asked for dolls, games, make up, and a CD player:roll: .

[Donna]

It is hard because as they get older, all their friends have things. The school my kids go to expect them to have access to a pc and internet for homework. All teenagers have a games console, and all have TV's, mobiles etc.

My kids are kitted out, but as teenagers I think it is more acceptable for them to have these things. I would not allow them to go out without their mobiles.

[Jac]

I know Donna I've been there as a single parent. It is hard. I never gave the boys a tv in the bedroom as soon as they asked for it or there consoles ect. They had to wait and work for it. That way I felt they appreciated it.

[dandysmom]

You sound like a wonderful mum to me, Jac, and she's obviously learned her values from you. I thought that remark about the Nintendo and being greedy was very touching...

[Jac]

Thank you Eileen.

[Donna]

Sean wont get anything else big from me now as I feel he has everything he possibly could want so Christmas from now on is easier on the pocket (or should I say credit card). His TV and pc were second hand. His mob was from an upgrade I had on my contract, and his PS3 I will be paying for for years to come.

Emma has smaller things, portable TV, Nintendo DS etc as she is not AS electronically minded. I have just swapped her pc for my laptop so suppose at 13 she seems to have a lot. Her mobile is my old one.

Again, I am not buying her anything"big" as she can make do till she is working lol.

[Jac]

Donna that's what I used to do. Some of the things were new but not all of them.

When Darryle started working he came in on his first pay day and handed me £100. He told me to buy something for me that I didn't need.

If they dont get it all handed on a plate I think they appreciate it as they grow up.

[Kim]

You sound like a good, responsible mum to me Jac. When my children were as young as Ceilidh they didn't have everything either. Now that they are older, my daughter is 17 and my son was 20 yesterday :shock: they do have everything in their bedrooms: TV, PC, DVD, stereo, they both have mobile phones, etc. However, many of these items they bought themselves once they went out to work part-time. It is good for them to realise they can't have everything handed to them on a plate and they appreciate things more if they have earned the money to buy them.

[yola]

Dominik has PCs at school and there is an expectation that he has access to some kind of IT facility at home. We have drawing programmes and occasionally he will play on Cbeebies. I have to say, it's very intuitive in his usage of the PC, he has excellent mouse control :shock:

But as far as a television in his room goes; no way! All his TV time is supervised and he's not yet able to change channels - which is a good thing.

I don't have a playstation or any such thing, and will resist it for as long as possible with the boys (hopefully early teens), as I really think they are a waste of money - many will argue with me but hey-ho!

Once they are earning their own money, or if they wish to save up for electronic gadgets then so be it, they will be free to do so, but not under the age of 11!!!

[Jac]

Yola were the same here now the boys are away from home. No play station or the likes.
Ceilidh has games for the PC but they are fun and educational. She would much prefer to play in her room using her emagination, getting lost in her own wee world. It's great to eaves drop on her:lol: .

when the boys were both old enough, they got paper rounds. If they wanted something "extra" I would make them save half the cost. Once they had that I would pay the other half. I found it worked, plus they got the satisfaction of working towards something. Mind you my boys are now 24 and 16:roll:

[alexgirl73]

Very interesting thread this lol.  I think I differ a wee bit from others in this respect. In my house there is very little, to no  spare money for treats throughout the year, so my girls only really get new things at Christmas and their birthdays. The rest of the year it's the odd thing from the charity shop/car boot sale etc. Both my girls have tv and videos in their bedrooms, but until last year were only allowed to actually watch their vast collection of videos on them. I didn't have their tvs tuned in to pick up signals. I decided to let them have them tuned in because they were basically sick to death of watching the same things over and over again lol. Hayley only get her tv last year after a lot of talk about it, because she and Raechel have very different viewing tastes and it was making the Hayley 'situation' worse. They have an old original playstation in Hayleys room but very rarely use it tbh. They do however love their DS (Raechel) and GB (Hayley) and as it was bought for Hayley as a concentration tool I dont feel guilty about it lol. Hayley finds it very difficult to engage in imagination play and doesn't really play with her many toys (even though we have tried and tried with her). We do play board games occasionally, but again this becomes fraught with tension as Hayley finds it hard to take turns and share. So to try and work on that this year, Santas main gift (and I always get them one each year) is one the 2 girls have to share. A multi game table with football and chess and basketball etc (15 games in 1). To encourage sisterly love lol. The rest of their pressies are lucky to come to about £50 each. I buy from July onwards in the sales and pick up bargains.Raechel still semi believes in Santa (she's 11). But she's not a greedy girl at all, and hasn't really asked for anything this year, and to be fair neither has Hayley really. My 2 dont ask for things during the year as they know the money isnt there, but I do try to spoil them a little bit at Christmas.

[Donna]

Similar situations Alex!

Mine get nothing throughout the year.. and I feel I have over compensated for the break up of my marriage. I moved into my house with nothing but clothes so I wanted to make the children's bedrooms as fun as possible....

It has taken five years to get where I am today with the house and feel I have given them everything they will need.

Now this year, I am only buying them a few small presents each and they have even said they dont want a lot cos money is tight and they have everything they need.

[alexgirl73]

I know my 2 would be happy with just a few presents to open but as you say, we tend to overcompensate at this time of year! I dont buy big label clothes (unless you count primark or george lol), and their tvs and things are from makes you've never heard of lol. But I feel guilty because I'm not able to give my girls things that a lot of kids take for granted, so I like to make Christmas that little bit special. I save up my cash back from my catalogue during the year, and thats where the main present comes from and the rest is paid by provident lol!

[Moli]

When I was young, my parents had 7 of us, and my dad used to make a lot of our presents, one year a dolls house, the next a wendyhouse, very seldom did my parents buy anything ready made....and we only got presents at xmas and birthdays....
Now my two are older, they get one big present each, something they need as well as want and a few smaller bits and pieces....

[Grete]

My parents split up when I was 11 and from then, money was *extremely* tight. My mum gave me and my sister what she could and we loved her for it.

We were probably ungrateful little brats from time to time but we grew up knowing the value of things and most of the presents we received at christmas were small but well thought out and ever since I have always loved presents that were from the heart rather than from the wallet.

[CathyW]

im so glad my lot are all grown up n left home.and at the moment due to a pair of daughters who need a dose of growing up they are getting nothing off me im afraid. they cant have the *i dont want nothing to do with u* attitude, then wait with their grabbing hands for what ever we are giving them.
so christmas this years going to be a light year. plus we are moving 2 weeks b4 christmas. so moneys going to be tight.
but even when they where young mine got what ever i could afford.

[Darky]

I'm only 19, so when I was a kid, most other kids also had insane amounts of things. I was used to kids telling me what expensive things they got for Christmas, and oh they got £150-300 birthday money, and I thought it was mad.

I grew up with modest presents, and honestly just enjoyed the good feelings at Christmas time. Getting to decorate the tree and eat my Mum's fabulous food was just as good, if not better, than receiving presents.

I do think that some children are very spoilt, and it annoys me when parents then complain about their child's behaviour - when all they do is try to buy their love, then let them get on with it.

I'm old enough to buy my own things now, and that keeps me happy, but I absolutely love buying or making things for other people.

My parents could not afford much when I was growing up, and still can't, and that has always been fine for me.

I was, however, raised a geek. XD We've always had computers in our house, it's just something that is a big part of all of our lives. So I was a kid who was internet-savvy and computer literate.

[dandysmom]

I was a Depression baby, so money was sort of tight when I was growing up; although fortunately my Dad never lost his government job. I never had what you would call expensive presents, but did get lots and lots of books, and as I was and still am a bookworm, that was a real treat! And as Darky said, the fun of the tree and my mom's wonderful cooking made Christmas a delightful time....

[Kazz]

I can only comment on my nieces and nephews, Katie is 15 now and Sophie and Jack will be 14 in Jan next year!!!
Katie wants for Christmas
Two pairs of jeans (she is 5ft8 and size10 and is still growing plus she has long legs)
Three T shirts.
Pair Boots.
Approx 4 books.....(thats my influence I think ;))
White Gold thin chain with a K on it. (from Nan and Grandad)
Hairdryer.
Perfume
Dressing gown
Portfolio file thing for her drawings.
Specific pencils for drawing.
Something for her camera she is into photography...big time.(from me)


Sophie wants
Thermal Socks.
Walking Boots.(to wear them in before Scotland)
Perfume
Waterproof coat.
Insulated sleeping bag.
Camera (instant point and shoot/water resistant)
Fluffy Pillows.
Tedddy Bear.(from Nan and Grandad)

Jack is difficult to buy for being Autistic, however he loves things that talk. Trampolines, pencils, drawing colouring, etc.

Taylor is 10 and wants
Makeup and dolls...inbetween age
Drawing paper
Pencils,
Paints,
Books.
DVD's

Lewis (8) wants
Snow
Fishing rod
Football
Football goal net
Footaball Boots
England strip
Cricket Bat and stumps
Rugby Ball
A Hammer
4m wood and nails (not sure what hes making)
Basketball and Hoop
Remote Control Car.

Molly (6) wants
Barbie (anything)
Anything pink
Anything Fluffy
Proper baby and pram
Toy cooker and pans
Board games


Nothing electronic at all. But all stops for the game of charades and give us a clue. Christmas Eve. And new years day. And more thought goes into their "Christmas act" than anything else. That remids me I have to do something too.

[MrsH]

When my children were small I was a full-time stay at home mum, so we didn't have much money but we had a lot of time together. My 2 loved to help make biscuits and home-made sweets for aunties/grans/godmothers/neighbours. We had great fun decorating the boxes and they were on the whole well-received. My son now has an extremely well-paid job and feels that he has to lavish very expensive presents on us all. I supppose it's his way of saying that he loves us but I can't seem to persuade him that we'd be just as happy with simple things.

[Jane]

I'm in the middle with this lol because I'm 13 myself so yeah.

My parents aren't rich, far from it, most of the time we hardly have any money. I can't remember about what I got when I was younger, but it wasn't much and we were greatful for it, I doubt they ever spent over £80 on me when I was younger. In the past few years they have started spending more on me as I've got older and became greedier :roll:

I don't want to be greedy, and I'm not, but when my friends have had like £500 spent on them for christmas and another £300 for their birthday it's hard not to want everything you see.

I don't NEED anything. I have a DS which I love, a TV and DVD player in my room, mobile phone, my own computer etc..all of these were christmas or birthday presents though, my parents can't afford to just randomly decide to buy me a new £150 phone one day. I would like a new monitor (I have an old "big" one at the moment because my other one died), a new digital camera, a new mobile, a new mp3 player.....but, really, I need none of that. My monitor works fine, it's just big..the digital camera works fine, just a new one would be nice..my mobile and mp3 player work fine but are kind of old now. I don't know what to ask for for christmas, I think I will ask for a new camera. I am greatful for whatever I get though.

Anyway, no need to fret, my parents will probably get our presents a week before christmas :roll: Maybe a bit earlier lol they can't afford it anyway.

Also, my brother annoys me, he wants an xbox 360 for christmas and loads of games for it and my parents wont be able to afford that, yet he'll still ask for it :roll: