Depressed cat.. Separation anxiety?

[sunshine687]

Hi everyone.. I just found this forum and I am hoping someone can help with a depressed cat. I have or had 6 cats, I am down to 5 now. I lost my 5 year old Himalyan on Monday due to an abdomen tumor. It happened so fast. I noticed her change on Friday, took her to the vet Saturday and was told then that she had a few days to live... you talk about shock. It happened so fast and with no warning. I also have her mother and father and immediately took them for an exam. I was not taking the chance of losing another one.

The funny thing about the whole thing is the mom (Abbie- Himalyan) had been acting strangely for about 2 weeks before all this happened. I recognized her symptoms, which were mild, and bought some rescue remedy. It did not seem to help her. then it got worse after we took Akira into the vet for the last time. We left with her and come home without her, of course the whole family was in pieces and cried so she sensed that also. Now she is laying on the chair and not getting up to do anything. We take her to her food and water and she looks at it. You bring the food and water to her and she will eat and drink. Also, we have been taking her to the litter box since she pee'd all over my husbands slipper. Abbie is a very very very finicky cat and I am not exaggerating.... it is bad. She does not like strangers and runs when anyone but the family comes into the house but last night the door bell rang and she ran to the door to see who was there. I think she is waiting for Akira to come home. I have another cat (Sitarra - part siamese/ part Himalyan) that is in the house 24/7 and she is grieving slightly but not real bad. She is at least eating and drinking and going to the litter on her own. She does not like to be alone now and sleeps on my daughter down blanket that she absolutely hated until this happened.

I also have dad (Bully- Himalyan - got that name from his first owner) he spends most of his time in my patio enclosure. He and Sitarra fight and she hyperventilates. I also have 2 more males, kittens (Bailey and Tazzee) pure white strays that adopted me. They are also with Bully and never really had much contact with Akira. They have all been in the house together the boys just sleep in the patio enclosure and are out there when nobody is home. So all my boys are doing fine.

Like I said, Abbie got a clean bill of health, no tumors or anything and I am suspecting this is anxiety from losing her daughter/friend. Does anyone have any suggestions to help get her through this quickly? The vet is suggesting possible drugs and I would hate to give her anything like that... why wipe her out anymore.

Thanks in advance and I will post some pictures of all my babies when I get a chance to do it.

[Fran]

Hi Sunshine, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your furbaby so unexpectedly :( I am hoping that there will be someone on here that has direct experience of a depressed cat as I have never been in this situation. I imagine that Abbie is going to need a lot of support through this from you and the rest of your family. She needs to feel loved and secure and encouraged to try and get back to normal life, plenty of stimulation in the hope that something will spark her into taking an interest in things. There's a product called Feliway, available as a spray or as a plug in which might be useful to try. I would imagine that keeping any further stresses down to a minimum will be helpful too so vets trips would be best kept to if necessary, although if things get really bad you may have to consider your vet's suggestion of medical treatment to help her here?
I really hope things start to improve for Abbie and of course yourself as I am sure Abbie is picking up on some of your grief too. You have had a terrible shock and my thoughts are with you at this sad time x

[Elaine]

So very sorry to hear about your loss. Cats are more sensitive than alot of people give them credit for. As well as the feliway that Fran has mentioned, it may be an idea to contact a woman I know of, she is very knowledgable on cat behaviour and has helped me in the past.http://wizz-catz.co.uk/behavioural.html.

[dinahsmum]

This sounds a really complicated situation and I think it sounds like Abbie is a complicated character, and was 'different' before your recent loss.
Have you read any of Vicky Hall's book - Cat Confidential etc? She's very good at working out cat psychology, which isn't easy, and it might give you a few tips.
The Feliway, as Fran says, might be useful. You might also think of some clicker training, to reinforce the behaviour you want.
Multi cat households are often difficult and it sounds like recent events have not helped yours at all. I do hope it improves for you soon and hope that someone has some constructive advice for you.
Good luck - hope you all fel better very soon.

[Mags]

So sorry to hear of your loss Sunshine :(

I can't add anymore to the good advice already given above but would just like to say that I hope Abbie will start to improve very soon.

Good luck with her.... and I hope you will feel better soon also....

[Samz5]

Hi Sunshine
Firstly I am so sorry to hear you lost your cat, on the 17th December I lost one of my babies in the exact same way, Courtney was the youngest of my 5 cats and was very close to the other 4, she was first looking ill on the friday and we lost her on the Sunday. She had a tumour and had internal bleeding because of it - the shock and grief was unbearable, for all of us.

The other 4 cats miss her, but they know she is gone, we showed them her body before we buried her and it seemed to help them understand, but her mum Mitz has been missing Courtney the most, she spent 2 weeks laying in Courtneys bed and shes never shown an interest in it before.
We did by a Feliway diffuser the day we took Courtney home, I don't know if it has helped but its been on everyday.

Its been over 4 weeks since we lost Courtney, we expected all of the cats to miss her, she was the only one who got on well with everyone, its heartbreaking to see them miss her but we have been giving all of them extra fuss, treats and playing with them a lot more than usual. They are deffinatly feeling better about it now, but the first 2 weeks were the worst.

I would try giving Abbie some treats, like chicken and plenty of fuss and if she will play get her one of those toys on a stick or something, it might help take her mind off things for a while, it will take time but she will feel happy again.

Again I'm so sorry to hear your news and I hope your ok x

[yola]

I have no direct experience of cat depression/bereavement, but I did want to say that I'm so sorry that you lost your beloved cat in such a shocking and sudden way, and I do so hope that you are able to find a way through to Abbie to be able to help her deal with the loss.

[sunshine687]

Thank you all for all the information and posts. I did not have the opportunity to show Akira to Abbie after she was put down but she did see her that morning and we took pictures of the two of them for the last time. I had Akira sent straight to the crematory and did not take her home. Both Abbie and Sitarra saw us carrying her out on the blanket ( I would not dare put her in a cat carrier) and I think Abbie may actually be mad at me now. My daughters boyfriend was over last night and he had her sitting on his lap, eating out of his hand and drinking. I cannot hold her for more than a minute and she wants away from me. I think I may have traumatized her more by taking her to the vet the next day too. Maybe that was not a good idea? Maybe she thought I was taking her away and not bringing her home like I did to her baby???

Dinahsmum - You are absolutely right. Abbie is "different" and she can be difficult. She is extremely finicky and does not adjust well to change. I have had problems in the past with her but I dealt with things the best I could and went on with life. My stepson moved in and life was not good. He was trouble and my husband and I fought a lot. Abbie retaliated against the change and ruined every carpet in the house. After he moved out she went back to her old self. I replaced the carpets and never had another problem with her. I would not give my cats up for nothing or nobody so stepson had to go. Not sure how she would even react to a new kitty, so I am not going to attempt it. I have 5 and that is enough. Plus a dog.

Elaine- thank you also. I will definitely check out this website you have suggested.

I have tried the rescue remedy and I do not see that working so the feliway would probably be a waste too. We do give her treats and try to play with her but she has no interest. Maybe it is just time that will heel her? I feel so guilty for all this. I took her baby away and she knows it. Too dang smart I guess.

Thanks again everyone... you have been a great help. Maked me feel good to talk about it too...so excuse my rambling.:p

[Fran]

I have no first hand experience of Feliway but I have heard extremely good reports about it. It works in an entirely different way from rescue remedy and is especially good in situations where cats are stressed. Good luck and I hope things pick up really soon for you and Abbie x

[Elaine]

I do have experience in using both rescue remedy and feliway diffusers/sprays.
My opinion of these are, they are not a cure for any underlying problems but mey help destress the cat a little and make them feel a bit more comfortable while dealing with the issues at hand.
If a cat is a little stressed about going to the vet or something, then I would recomend the use of rescue remedy or a feliway spray to try to help the cat relax a little.
If the cat has a stress issue at home, I would try to identify the issue and work out how best to deal with it or seek advice on how best to deal with it AND use rescue remedy/feliway diffuser as something that may help the cats anxiety.
In the case of a greiving cat, I would use the feliway as something to make her feel a little more at ease just as a greiving person may, in the short term, need an anti depressant to help them cope.

[tilly]

Sorry but I have no experience of losing a cat . But I do offer my deepest sympathies and hope that Abbie get better soon.
((hug))
Sally

[sunshine687]

Abbie is starting to come around some and Sitarra is almost back to her normal self. I guess they needed some time; like the rest of us. Plus, I did any crying out of their presence so they did not sense that something was wrong with me. Abbie has moved from the chair in the livingroom to my daughter's dirty clothes basket... I know she is feeling better and she is eating on her own and using the litter box... thank goodness! :)

[Mags]

Abbie is starting to come around some and Sitarra is almost back to her normal self. I guess they needed some time; like the rest of us. Plus, I did any crying out of their presence so they did not sense that something was wrong with me. Abbie has moved from the chair in the livingroom to my daughter's dirty clothes basket... I know she is feeling better and she is eating on her own and using the litter box... thank goodness! :)
Pleased to hear things are starting to improve with them ......... :D

[Fran]

So glad things are improving x

[dinahsmum]

Time helps us all - human and animal

[Samz5]

Glad to hear things are getting better

[Elaine]

Awww pleased to hear things are getting back to normal again. xxx