Older parents

[Kazz]

Well last night at the wedding friends of mine told us all they are expecting a baby. Jo is 43, husband Phil 45. They met about 5 years ago and they said they'd never really considered children.
Jo has been married before but lost 3 babies in her late 20's just bad luck the doctors said, then her hubby Colin (a lovely chap) was killed in a car accident.
Her hubby Phil - a confirmed batchelor before meeting Jo. :)

They are very happy and have announced it now, surprised me how people reacted.

What would be your thoughts?

[sandy]

Good luck to them! Hope all goes well. they will make wonderful parents, I'm sure.

[Donna]

I would be happy for them of course, but would have some worries over the pregnancy for a more mature woman. Also wonder how the child will feel having older parents as teenagers are a nightmare!!

[Kazz]

I think they're scared of being the oldest parents at the school gates - but I said "Blow the world" you'll be great.

[Mags]

Good luck to them, they will probably make better parents than couples half their age .......... they'll have more patience for a start..

[dandysmom]

Mixed thoughts about this: she's nearing the time of low fertility and the odds of conceiving aren't very good. Also, babies born to women quite late in life are more likely to have birth defects. And having parents who are "grandparent" age can be horribly embarrassing to teenagers. But on the positive side, more mature adults can make great parents, life experiences help them cope with things better, and they are likely to be more financially stable...che sera sera......

[dandysmom]

:oops::oops::oops: Oops, missed that she was already pregnant......:oops:

[yola]

I'm 41 and hubby is 55. Neither child is currently suffering as a result of our age. OK, we don't run around and play football with them - but then maybe we wouldn't if we were in our 20s or 30s either!! However we feel we can offer stability, nurturing and strong family support to our boys.

My parents too were older, Mum 40 and Dad 47 when I was born and to be honest, it didn't really make too much of a difference to me when growning up.

Kazz - good luck to your friends - life's too short to worry about what everyone else thinks . . . just tell them to invest in some industrial-strength concealer for the first months of baby's life :-D

[Moli]

Wish them all the best, I don't see a prob
lem with older parents, and as Mags says, will probably be a lot more patience.....

[Kazz]

Thanks to you all for your replies.

They are over the moon and Phil's Mom and Dad are apparently beside themselves with happiness as Phil is an only child and they had given up on him getting married let alone having children so now over joyed.:-D But made him promise not to name the baby after either of them as they can't lumber a baby with the name Nora or Cyril.:-D

Thanks Yola Phil said himself oddly enough can't see me climbing tree's but then again I wouldn't have done that at 20 either I can't stand heights :roll:

[alexgirl73]

Wonderful news for them. My opinion on this (for what it's worth) is that if the woman is still able to conceive naturally, then nature doesn't have a problem with it and neither should anyone else. It's a different matter completely when a woman over 50 has gone through the menopause and has fertility treatment to have a baby. That to me is wrong as nature has already told them that it is too late and their time has passed. I hope your friends have a trouble free pregnancy Kazz, and that their new baby brings them all the joy in the world.

[Kazz]

Wonderful news for them. My opinion on this (for what it's worth) is that if the woman is still able to conceive naturally, then nature doesn't have a problem with it and neither should anyone else. It's a different matter completely when a woman over 50 has gone through the menopause and has fertility treatment to have a baby. That to me is wrong as nature has already told them that it is too late and their time has passed. I hope your friends have a trouble free pregnancy Kazz, and that their new baby brings them all the joy in the world.

Thank you.

[Kim]

I totally agree with Alex. If nature allows them to have a baby then can't see what is wrong, I do have an issue with women over the menopause who have fertility treatment, however that's another topic!!

Hope your friends enjoy parenthood, sounds like they certainly deserve some happiness. My daughter was born on my hubby's 40th Birthday and it has never been a problem.

[sandy]

It's the teenage chavettes having babies that bothers me, and there are plenty of those around!

My mother's generation were all having babies in their 40s. They married late due to the Great Depression and having to save up for years to start a home, and babies just came back then, whether you wanted them or not.

My mum was 40 when I was born and 43 when she had my brother. A friend of mine was born when his mother was 48. I don't recall the neighbourhood being full of handicapped children or kids have serious social/emotional problems due to their parents' ages.

Furthermore, old fathers have always been regarded as perfectly acceptable, found charming, in fact (see all our aging pop stars who become fathers in their late 50s and early 60s) but as soon as an older woman becomes pregnant the whole world sticks their noses in with negative comments.

The American writer and scholar, Allan Tate, had twins when he was in his 70s. No, he did live long enough to bring his kids up. When I worked at a university, many of the 50+ professors were abandoning their menopausal wives and marrying doting/ambitious students. It used to make me sick, seeing them pushing prams downtown. In one case the father died when his kids were toddlers. In another, the wife made a great career with his help, was offered a chair in another city, accepted it and left him behind with the 5-year-old. He had to take early retirement and stay at home to look after his son.

[Sweet]

I think its great news....I agree with Yola in saying its their life go and enjoy it. I would consider it and go for it if I could with my Fiance but he has already had the little mans op :oops: hes 49 and I am nearly 40 - age should not be a problem, but have all tests etc... and be well looked after by your Docs etc...

Great news for them.....x

[EmmaG]

Congratulations for them I say!!! I don't think 43 is too old for a woman to have children, as everybody has said if her body lets her then good for them!!

[Jac]

Wish them all the very best from me too.

Brilliant news for them. I was 40 when I had ceilidh, Derek was 45. As for being the oldest parents at the gates, who gives a hoot!!
I think its about time your friend had some good luck dont you.

[Fran]

I would be happy for them of course, but would have some worries over the pregnancy for a more mature woman.

I don't think that 43 would be considered a worry in this day and age. People live so much longer these days and there has been such an increase in medical advancement that I wouldn't be worried at all about their ages.

I am 40 and really wouldn't want to have a baby now at my age, mainly because I just couldn't imagine starting all over again with the baby/toddler stages :roll: I feel perfectly fit enough to have a baby, however and if it was something we wanted then my age wouldn't put me off. My parents were 'older' and I did rather wish as a child that they had had us younger but I really think things are different these days.

Good luck to them Kazz - I wish them every happiness

[alexgirl73]

Kazz, how is your friends pregnancy progressing?

[Kazz]

She is getting on very very well. Thanks for asking.

[alexgirl73]

Glas to hear it! When's her actual due date?

[Animagus]

I think its great news....I agree with Yola in saying its their life go and enjoy it. I would consider it and go for it if I could with my Fiance but he has already had the little mans op :oops: hes 49 and I am nearly 40 - age should not be a problem, but have all tests etc... and be well looked after by your Docs etc...

Great news for them.....x

My mate 37 is now pregnant and due anyday... her man 44 had had the little mans op and went and got it reversed.... so nothing stopping you if you really wanted it bad enough.... and great news for your friends Yola xx