Elsa..part 2

[Luke]

Well Elsa seems to have gotten a wee bit better...but im stuck with a dilemma..because she will NOT come to you under any circumstances..she just is to untrusting point blank, however if you manage to get her and pick her up (which BTW she actually tolerates now!) she is fine..and i mean, a real cuddle puss.
So what would you lot reccomend me doing, leaving the contact to be done on her terms (which probs wont ever happen if left to elsa) or striving slighty with a little more 'force' (meaning picking her up/stroking etc even if she does protest sometimes)?
We just had a half hour cuddle..and that was from nabbing her whilst she ate her breakfast..but it was so strange, she was so loving and nuzzling etc wereas usually she just wants to get away:?

[Emm]

In my experiance the more you try to force a cat to do something the more they are likely to resist :lol:

All cats are different some are more friendly than others - my girl cats HATE to be picked up - so I don't pick them up - I allow them to come to me when they want cuddles and attention. My boy cats are always wanting cuddles and picked up - they are very soppy.


I always think the best thing with cats is to respect their own individual characters - most settle down with age as well :)

[Mags]

Luke, I have never been able to pick up and hold Cassie......she defiantly digs her paws in and resists. I do not force her......I still get my cuddles from her as she will come up and settle on my lap...on her terms.

I wouldn't worry too much about Elsa, it is just her way....like a lot of other cats:D

[borderdawn]

Have you tried shutting her in your bedroom with just you? Lie on the bed and see what happens. Sometimes when Cats are alone and have no back up from other family members (Cats or dogs) you all of a sudden seem very nice to be with! Try it, dont hassle her, dont call her, lie on your bed, and wait.
Dawn.


Oh, if she ignores you, take it as a no after 6hrs or so!:-D

[Mags]

Have you tried shutting her in your bedroom with just you? Lie on the bed and see what happens. Sometimes when Cats are alone and have no back up from other family members (Cats or dogs) you all of a sudden seem very nice to be with! Try it, dont hassle her, dont call her, lie on your bed, and wait.
Dawn.


Oh, if she ignores you, take it as a no after 6hrs or so!:-D
:lol: @ Dawn!

[Luke]

Ok thanks everyone..shes chilled out on the wardobe top on her own at the moment (dogs downstairs on sofa and clementine out) so shall see what happens with some coaxing...

[Moli]

Merlins the same Luke, pick him up and he struggles, but will come to be petted, in the ev enings he always sits beside me when I am on the comp....Its always his terms though...

[Elaine]

Hi Luke, have you tried clicker training? That may help if she feels she is in control of the situation and of course the treats:D May help build her confidence. I am currently doing this with Eva and she really seems to be taking to it. I had done a little with her about a year ago just for a bit of fun and stimulation and she will do almost anything if prawns are involved.
Give it a whirl Luke, what have you got to lose;)

[Donna]

Chloe seems very much like Elsa, Luke. She is gradually getting better as she matures, which I think is a natural progression...

She still runs away if you try to stroke her or cuddle her, but I dont do that anymore. By not hassling her, she has decided to come to me on occasion. We have lovely strokes and cuddles when she jumps on my lap (usually when the house is empty of noise etc). She has laid on my lap and gone to sleep, and she has stood on my lap and deliberately encouraged me to stroke and touch her.

Just leave it to her to decide Luke and I am sure she will improve her confidence with age, as Chloe is doing.

[Snoof]

What worked with Ninja was starting with treats. I would slowly go towards him with a few treats on my splayed palm and let him eat them. At first I just let him eat them (for a few days) and then, when he was done eating them, I would stroke him (for a few days). He's now very good at being stroked whilst eating them, but during the second phase (eat then stroke) I started also coming towards him just to stroke him, and he's turned into a lovebug who won't always eat unless he's had enough cuddles beforehand.

The coming to me, unfortunately, required him to overcome his own fears first. What I have done in the past is, when he was with me in the kitchen being loved-up, I would slowly lure him (usually with cuddles rather than treats). First I'd go sit in the hall and then I'd love on him there for a while. Then down the hall a little further, until we got to the lounge door where he usually chose to abscond :lol:

The hardest part, I think, is remembering that these things go in baby steps and that some cats will never like some things. I will be surprised as hell if Ninja ever likes being picked up - but that's why you explore the realm of possibility until you find something that works, then explore that until you know what's what and move onto something new.

[dandysmom]

Leia is like that; she absolutely becomes all arms & legs if I oick her up. She was never a lap cat while Patches was alive ( Is Clementine a lap cat?), but now that she's the only cat she has voluntarily gotten in my lap fairly frequently...but only when SHE wants to. But she has always slept with me..they do have their quirks, don't they? Have you tried coaxing her into your lap with a special treat: prawn, cheese, whatever?

[Kazz]

Hi Luke

This isn't an answer but an observation I have made, have you ever noticed cats are drawn to people who dislike them an example visitors to your home cat lover who calls puss puss, and the one who ain't keen and sits there all quiet and ignoring the cat who does the cat go to the one who ain't keen thats who.
Why because cats are cats they prefer people sitting quietly and still. Try it ignore her but make yourself inviting.;) And try to accept she may not be a cat who runs to you but do you want that, she's a cat not a dog and cats "walk alone":-D

[dandysmom]

Kazz, that is so true! My Aunt & Uncle used to stop in on their way to Florida: my Aunt was afraid of cats, my Uncle loved them...so who did my Siamese pester...??:-D

[dinahsmum]

Good point, Kazz & DM!
I have certainly experienced my cats heading straight for the cat-averse/cat-nervous person. I think I remember reading that this is because cats are naturally nervous of a 'wide-eyed' approach (which is what someone keen to speak to them does) and feel more confident with a sideways, under the eyelid glance. Presumably, once they are fully settled and happy in their 'pack' they don't care how we look at them :)
Have you read the cat psychology books? Vicky Hall (I think?) seems to be popular.
And I agree with others about some cats being cuddly cats and others not so much. I certainly agree that cats do what they want and that's that!