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Catsey Senior
 
Cats owned: Sadly missed ginger tab
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Somerset,uk
Posts: 289
20-08-2007, 12:52 PM   #1

starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


Sometimes in life things just dont work, you can try all you want but they just dont, this also goes for me and my OH

We have tried and tried, maybe for too long now, but you cant just give up can you, not after 5yrs

But I think we have finally tried one to many times, and theres no strength left in me to carry on going

Funny, Im not in piece's, just numb, dont really know where to start, what to do, how to carry on, nothing...............
So, where do I begin, a feeling of anything would be good, but all that seems to be going through my head is why, how, nothing

help...................



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dinahsmum's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggie boys; 1 grey 1 red striped
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: SW England
Posts: 12,761
20-08-2007, 01:11 PM   #2

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


Erm, not sure, but I think it's probably important that you take care of yourself now. Be good to yourself, put yourself first - do what you want, don't do what you don't want.
I suppose you will be going through a period similar to mourning. Looking back, looking forward, trying to get everything in focus.
Good luck



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charliebubs's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Ragdoll, 2 Siamese & a Balinese
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Northamptonshire, UK
Posts: 4,265
20-08-2007, 01:12 PM   #3

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


Oh gosh Clair. I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't worked out with you and your OH.

I'm single - so not the best person to be giving advice I'm afraid, but hopefully someone else will.

I think that if you have made the decision and you know in your heart of hearts that it's the right thing to do, that everything will sort itself out for you.

It's hard to let go, but sometimes I think people stay together for the wrong reasons and out of habit, and if that's the case then it is better to go your separate ways.

Lots of love and hugs to you.
xxx



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Catsey Senior
 
Cats owned: Sadly missed ginger tab
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Somerset,uk
Posts: 289
20-08-2007, 01:15 PM   #4

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


'It's hard to let go, but sometimes I think people stay together for the wrong reasons and out of habit, and if that's the case then it is better to go your separate ways.'

thats exactly it, but it doesnt hurt yet, thanx guys



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Donna's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Tortie Chloe & Black Misty
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 9,350
20-08-2007, 01:19 PM   #5

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


I say if its not working then get out now. No point wasting your life pretending everything is ok.

Take one day at a time and start to sort of the things that will help you to separate. Five years is a fair time for a relationship, but not that long for a whole lifetime.

Hope you manage to sort out something quickly as its best to get it over and done with in one go.



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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
20-08-2007, 04:19 PM   #6

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


Sorry to hear the news, never look back with regret, take a deep breath and look forward to pastures new.
As Hilary said, take time to do the things you want to do.
All the very best xxx



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Mags's Avatar
Global Moderator
 
Cats owned: NA
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: South-West,UK
Posts: 37,618
20-08-2007, 06:37 PM   #7

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


So sorry to hear things haven't worked out Clair...some relationships are just not meant to be, however hard you try. As you say, staying together for the wrong reasons and out of habit, this will not bring happiness.

Give yourself time to come to terms with the separation, don't be talked into anything just yet by well meaning friends. Only you will know when the time is right for you to start rebuilding your life again.

You have friends on here, just pop in whenever you feel like it ...... even if it's just to see what is going on ........ it will help you feel back in the 'normal' world..
Take care ((((hugs)))) xx



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babycakes's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: feral moggy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Scarisbrick, uk
Posts: 3,613
20-08-2007, 06:57 PM   #8

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


Sorry to hear the sad news or is it sad news for you? maybe you are waiting to be sad but all you feel is relief from having made the right decision then guilt for feeling that?? I don't know that's the funny thing I don't think anyone knows how we would feel really unless the seperation is when we are still in love with that person.

The great advice given by others to look after yourself and take your time may help you to rediscover who you are again rather than being one half of a relationship.

take care.



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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
20-08-2007, 08:09 PM   #9

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


I can't add anything to the already good advice...just take care of yourself..(((hugs)))



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mable1718's Avatar
Almost a Veteran Member
 
Cats owned: all types
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: bristol uk
Posts: 1,273
20-08-2007, 09:54 PM   #10

Re: starting afresh, where do I even begin.........


im so sorry to here this



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