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today was emotionally grueling and depressing. physically he's progressing though. i'm just wiped out. |
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i was going thru bills and i went to get a folder to organize everything out of the filing cabinet and i found all this old stuff he filed. the fact that he had enough energy to do that and thinking back on the day we bought that cabinet and how full of hope he was and he had ideas and he even made a drawer for me and labeled things for me. well it made me cry because there was something kind of tragic about the fact that i forgot that person and i haven't seen someone with that much energy and enthusiasm for life in a long time. he used to be so full of life, you know? and the amazingly huge difference..and just the fact i FORGOT that he was like that before. i remember him trying to make me smile. you know how out of character that would be right now? i just really miss that person. he used to push me and make me get out of my comfort zone and brighten my spirits and force me out of bed and make me breathe fresh air and made sure i ate good food. all i had to do was be myself and be happy and he was happy. and now..now we are rallying around him trying to remind him that he might like to live. and he's defeated and he's miserable and he stares at the wall and he doesn't light up anymore...it just breaks my heart. |
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Dont worry Tink.. what is this??? day 3 or 4 post op??? its very normal to have a few down days around this time...in fact im surprised that he has been so upbeat thus far.... given the severity of his surgery... He has had a tough time of it... , so have you... but just like his illness didn't happen overnight... his recovery isn't going to happen overnight either.... it may very well be two steps forward and the occasional step back... but if you keep that in mind and take a few deep breaths so you can work through it... it will make it just that little bit more bearable... the light IS at the end of the tunnel... you just have to take K's hand and make your way to it TOGETHER....you will get through this... what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... im a firm believer in that take care  |
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It's no wonder you feel exausted Tink, you are on an emotional roller coaster. Straight after the op you would both be amazed and on a high because he survived. Now reality is probably setting in about how difficult life is going to be during recovery. You will be very tired and will have very bad days, but you will also have good ones and you will both come out at the other end together. |
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I can't add one word that Jo and Shelley haven't already expressed so well. |
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It's reaction Tink - to his huge operations and the hard times you've both been through. (((((HUGS))))) |
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can't add to what has been said, so just sending much love and ((hugs)) xxx |
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Quote:
ditto from me too xx |
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decided to stay home today. not feeling so well. |
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I am sorry your feeling offish. Hope you feel better soon |
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