Stupid Things in the Wilderness

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These are actual comments left on Provincial park registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:

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"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."

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"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."

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"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."

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"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."

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"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."

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"All the mile markers are missing this year."

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"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."

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"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."

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"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."

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"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."

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"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."

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"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."

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"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."

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"Need more signs to keep area pristine."

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"A McDonalds would be nice at the trail head."

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"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."

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"Too many rocks in the mountains."