FUNNY CLASSIFIED ADS!!!

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:smt043

Some of these are soooo funny!!!!

Ha ha ha ha!!!!!



WE DO NOT TEAR YOUR CLOTHING WITH MACHINERY.
WE DO IT CAREFULLY BY HAND.

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GET RID OF AUNTS. ZAP DOES THE JOB IN 24 HOURS.

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STOCK UP AND SAVE. LIMIT: ONE.

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ILLITERATE? WRITE TODAY FOR FREE HELP.

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MAN, HONEST. WILL TAKE ANYTHING.

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WANTED. MAN TO TAKE CARE OF COW THAT DOES NOT SMOKE OR DRINK.

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AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. FREE PICK-UP AND DELIVERY.
TRY US ONCE, YOU'LL NEVER GO ANYWHERE AGAIN.

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DOG FOR SALE: EATS ANYTHING AND IS FOND OF CHILDREN.

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MIXING BOWL SET DESIGNED TO PLEASE A COOK WITH ROUND BOTTOM FOR EFFICIENT BEATING.

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AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED

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OUR EXPERIENCED MOM WILL CARE FOR YOUR CHILD.
FENCED YARD, MEALS, AND SMACKS INCLUDED.

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NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR EARS PIERCED
AND GET AN EXTRA PAIR TO TAKE HOME, TOO.

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MAN WANTED TO WORK IN DYNAMITE FACTORY.
MUST BE WILLING TO TRAVEL.

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TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF. LET ME DO IT.

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SEMI-ANNUAL AFTER-CHRISTMAS SALE.

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3-YEAR OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL.
EXPERIENCE PREFERRED.

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VACATION SPECIAL: HAVE YOUR HOME EXTERMINATED.

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GIRL WANTED TO ASSIST MAGICIAN IN CUTTING-OFF-HEAD ILLUSION.
BLUE CROSS AND SALARY.

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USED CARS: WHY GO ELSEWHERE TO BE CHEATED. COME HERE FIRST.

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FOR SALE: ANTIQUE DESK SUITABLE FOR LADY WITH THICK LEGS AND LARGE DRAWERS.

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FOR SALE. THREE CANARIES OF UNDERMINED SEX.

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GREAT DAMES FOR SALE.

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FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL-1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

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MT. KILIMANJARO, THE BREATHTAKING BACKDROP FOR THE SERENA LODGE.
SWIM IN THE LOVELY POOL WHILE YOU DRINK IT ALL IN.

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DINNER SPECIAL -- TURKEY $2.35; CHICKEN OR BEEF $2.25; CHILDREN $2.00

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THE HOTEL HAS BOWLING ALLEYS, TENNIS COURTS, COMFORTABLE BEDS,
AND OTHER ATHLETIC FACILITIES.

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WANTED: HAIR CUTTER. EXCELLENT GROWTH POTENTIAL.

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TOASTER: A GIFT THAT EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY APPRECIATES.
AUTOMATICALLY BURNS TOAST.

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FOR RENT: 6-ROOM HATED APARTMENT.

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WE WILL OIL YOUR SEWING MACHINE AND ADJUST TENSION IN YOUR HOME FOR $1.00.

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CHRISTMAS TAG-SALE. HANDMADE GIFTS FOR THE HARD-TO-FIND PERSON.

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AND NOW, THE SUPERSTORE-UNEQUALED IN SIZE, UNMATCHED IN VARIETY, UNRIVALED INCONVENIENCE.

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HAVE SEVERAL VERY OLD DRESSES FROM GRANDMOTHER IN BEAUTIFUL CONDITION.

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Ad seen in NY Times
For sale by owner
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.