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belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:39 PM
The chicken cross the road???????

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:39 PM
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:40 PM
PLATO: For the greater good.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:41 PM
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:41 PM
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:41 PM
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:42 PM
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:42 PM
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:43 PM
CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:43 PM
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas..

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:44 PM
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:44 PM
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:45 PM
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:45 PM
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:46 PM
RICHARD M NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:46 PM
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:47 PM
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:47 PM
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:48 PM
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:48 PM
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:49 PM
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:49 PM
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:49 PM
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:50 PM
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:50 PM
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:51 PM
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:51 PM
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:51 PM
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive manoeuvre, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 07:53 PM
Class!

That just has to be the best bunch of 'chicken' jokes I have come across!!!!

Mind you was looking for more lightbulb jokes!!!!!!

Jeanette
19-07-2005, 08:01 PM
ROFLMAO :-D :-D

belladiablo
19-07-2005, 08:32 PM
ha ha ha ha!
So glad you enjoyed them!

I have been finding some really funny ones on my search for lightbulb jokes, think I will make it my mission to cheer us all up and post the funniest!!!!