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Elaine
02-05-2007, 09:09 PM
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining
room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted
on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain
rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his
new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to
>>set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few
>>days
and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their
calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were
to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!

Mags
02-05-2007, 09:14 PM
:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005:smt005...brilliant Elaine!!

alexgirl73
02-05-2007, 09:15 PM
:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 Revenge is sweet! Loved that one:-D

Fran
02-05-2007, 09:17 PM
:smt005 :smt005 :smt005

dandysmom
02-05-2007, 09:24 PM
Utterly brilliant!!!!

Jac
02-05-2007, 09:45 PM
I love it.:lol: :lol: :lol:

yola
02-05-2007, 10:05 PM
B. brilliant!!! I've read this one before too, and hold it in reserve as I'm pretty certain I'll need a tactic like that one day :-D

Fran
02-05-2007, 10:08 PM
B. brilliant!!! I've read this one before too, and hold it in reserve as I'm pretty certain I'll need a tactic like that one day :-D



:shock: :shock: :shock:

Elaine
02-05-2007, 10:09 PM
B. brilliant!!! I've read this one before too, and hold it in reserve as I'm pretty certain I'll need a tactic like that one day :-D

:lol: :lol: :lol:

yola
02-05-2007, 10:13 PM
Yes, harsh but fair ladies. ;)

Elaine
02-05-2007, 10:15 PM
Yes, harsh but fair ladies. ;)

I do like tales of revenge:lol:
I once went out with a beast of a man, I remember on one arguement, he went out and I rubbed his underwear on the fibreglass stuff that was showing through a tear in the jacket of the hot water tank. He itched like mad for days:-D

yola
02-05-2007, 10:18 PM
I do like tales of revenge:lol:
I once went out with a beast of a man, I remember on one arguement, he went out and I rubbed his underwear on the fibreglass stuff that was showing through a tear in the jacket of the hot water tank. He itched like mad for days:-D

PMSL laughing Elaine. Didn't he ever wash his undies (or his bits) then?????? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

No really - that's the best laugh I've had in days, no weeks!!!!!

Elaine
02-05-2007, 10:19 PM
I have quite a few more tales of revenge but its getting late now:lol:

Elaine
02-05-2007, 10:20 PM
PMSL laughing Elaine. Didn't he ever wash his undies (or his bits) then?????? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

No really - that's the best laugh I've had in days, no weeks!!!!!

There were several pairs drying in there, so just used them, when he questioned it I just shrugged and said must be the new washing powder:roll: :-D

yola
02-05-2007, 10:21 PM
I have quite a few more tales of revenge but its getting late now:lol:

Well, if you're not up to it now; same time and same place tomorrow - I'm all ears :D

Elaine
02-05-2007, 10:26 PM
One more before bed then:lol:
A friend of mine had incredibly bad taste in violent men. One evening I was there for tea, we were having steak. My friend nipped to the loo while I served up the food. Let her dog have several good licks of his steak, by accidentally dropping it on the floor and then casually picking it up again, before giving it to him.

alexgirl73
02-05-2007, 10:32 PM
Naughty, naughty Elaine!! LOL!!

Animagus
03-05-2007, 02:43 PM
ewwww naughty Elaine...... good tale though lol