Elaine
06-02-2007, 08:47 PM
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided
to change the admittance policy. The new law was that,
in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a real bummer
of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at
noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates
of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new
policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need
you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor
apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked
and appearing to be having an affair, but her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him.
My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto
the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off
the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers
until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed
in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't
die. This ticked me off
even more.
In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get
my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out
onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was
so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the
guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the
Angel announces, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel' says,
"Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
was like when you died."
The second guy said, "No problem. But you're not going to
believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment
doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure
so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I
got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over
the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the finger tips
on the balcony below mine.
But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well,
of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom
which broke my fall so I didn't die right away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move,
and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator
of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands
on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the guy finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to
himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets him enter.
A few seconds later, a third guy comes up to the gate and
says,
"OK, picture this..........I'm hiding naked inside this refrigerator..."
to change the admittance policy. The new law was that,
in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a real bummer
of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at
noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates
of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new
policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need
you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor
apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked
and appearing to be having an affair, but her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him.
My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto
the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off
the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers
until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed
in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't
die. This ticked me off
even more.
In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get
my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out
onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was
so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the
guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the
Angel announces, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel' says,
"Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
was like when you died."
The second guy said, "No problem. But you're not going to
believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment
doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure
so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I
got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over
the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the finger tips
on the balcony below mine.
But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well,
of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom
which broke my fall so I didn't die right away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move,
and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator
of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands
on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the guy finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to
himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets him enter.
A few seconds later, a third guy comes up to the gate and
says,
"OK, picture this..........I'm hiding naked inside this refrigerator..."