Moli
06-12-2005, 04:07 PM
1. Kittens born blind and covered in fur are normal. Children born
that way is a sign that you live in too remote a community.
2. You don't have to be a rock star to give your cat an embarrassing
name.
3. All kittens are cute. You don't have to lie about how gorgeous
your friend's kitten is when actually it looks like a syrup pudding
or a scarecrow.
4. Getting a cat doesn't mean more visits from your in-laws.
5. Your mother tends not to criticise how you're raising your
kitten.
6. Cats only ruin your furniture. Children ruin your sleep patterns,
social life, looks and bank balance. And your furniture.
7. Granted, when cats bring you presents they do tend to be of
the 'dead critter in more pieces than nature intended' variety. But
they don't have to be stuck to the fridge and lived with forever.
8. You can leave your cat home alone for the weekend without getting
into the newspapers.
9. You can stroke other people's cats without Social Services getting
involved.
10. You can stroke your own cat without Social Services getting
involved.
11. Lost cats get brought home by pleasant elderly ladies. Lost kids
get brought home by inquisitive police officers.
12. It isn't so embarrassing when your cat gets caught weeing (or
worse) in your neighbour's garden.
13. Cats enjoy fighting. Children stand around going "He hiiiiiiiiiiit
me." It's a question of respect.
14. Cats are born with nasty habits. Kids have to be taught them.
15. Society frowns upon people who use their children to kill
household vermin.
16. Cats never come home whining about how much richer/cooler/less
strict their friends' owners are.
17. Cats never criticise your clothes sense and then go out dressed
like a blood sport happened in a charity shop.
18. Ever tried telling an angry neighbour "All children do that. It's
instinct"?
19. Everyone who has a fifteen year old child has thought "If we'd
got a cat instead, at least it would be dead by now."
that way is a sign that you live in too remote a community.
2. You don't have to be a rock star to give your cat an embarrassing
name.
3. All kittens are cute. You don't have to lie about how gorgeous
your friend's kitten is when actually it looks like a syrup pudding
or a scarecrow.
4. Getting a cat doesn't mean more visits from your in-laws.
5. Your mother tends not to criticise how you're raising your
kitten.
6. Cats only ruin your furniture. Children ruin your sleep patterns,
social life, looks and bank balance. And your furniture.
7. Granted, when cats bring you presents they do tend to be of
the 'dead critter in more pieces than nature intended' variety. But
they don't have to be stuck to the fridge and lived with forever.
8. You can leave your cat home alone for the weekend without getting
into the newspapers.
9. You can stroke other people's cats without Social Services getting
involved.
10. You can stroke your own cat without Social Services getting
involved.
11. Lost cats get brought home by pleasant elderly ladies. Lost kids
get brought home by inquisitive police officers.
12. It isn't so embarrassing when your cat gets caught weeing (or
worse) in your neighbour's garden.
13. Cats enjoy fighting. Children stand around going "He hiiiiiiiiiiit
me." It's a question of respect.
14. Cats are born with nasty habits. Kids have to be taught them.
15. Society frowns upon people who use their children to kill
household vermin.
16. Cats never come home whining about how much richer/cooler/less
strict their friends' owners are.
17. Cats never criticise your clothes sense and then go out dressed
like a blood sport happened in a charity shop.
18. Ever tried telling an angry neighbour "All children do that. It's
instinct"?
19. Everyone who has a fifteen year old child has thought "If we'd
got a cat instead, at least it would be dead by now."